Remembering Gaga

Yesterday, I took one of the most beautiful photographs of sunrise in Nagshead, NC. A few hours later, I knew why. A very special woman in my life had made her journey beyond. I am certain that the beautiful sky was created and sent by her.

She was my two best friends grandma. She was the hippest, coolest grandma ever. We called her Grandma Gaga, after she revealed to us years ago that she liked Lady Gaga. She became my Grandma Gaga as well. Hell, she was everyone’s Grandma Gaga.

She was quick witted, with a sharp tongue, she was everything you looked up to as a woman. She would do anything you asked her to do, just like in my favorite photo of her. We all wanted and still want to grow up to be like her.

If you visited her, she always offered you a beer, that she kept in the cardboard containers that a 12 pack of pop came in. It wasn’t to disguise her beer, she said that beer should come in boxes like that so it was easier to put into the refrigerator.

Don’t try to use her microwave, it was full of toothpicks for some reason. She loved toothpicks, they were everywhere.

I was with her when she took her first shot of Tequila. She said she always wanted to try it. So while we were all visiting and playing Skat, we did a shot. Votive cups were her shot glasses. She took her first shot and exclaimed, “That tastes like gasoline!” Yes, Gaga, it does.

Those who know me, know that I do a mean chicken impression. She always reminded me how I traumatized her former parakeet, Blue, by clucking like a chicken at him. Her newest parakeet, Tweetie, will be living with me once I return home. I think I will change his name to PeeWee, which is a nickname that some family members called her.

I am disappointed that I won’t be at her memorial service on Sunday, since I will be in California working a show. But I will be there in spirit.

I never imagined life without her. I am going to miss being “Gagafied”, which is when she would go on Facebook and like about 100 old pictures in a row, so that your notifications were all from her. I am going to miss her jokes and puns. I am going to miss her wit and sarcasm. I am going to miss her.

My heart skipped a beat this morning when her face showed up in my notifications. It was reminding me that it was her birthday. What better way to spend your birthday, but in Heaven with the man you loved, sending us beautiful sunrises.

Happy Birthday and Godspeed Gaga.

Laws Are Made For the Guilty

If you’ve never been the victim of something, I have news for you, the laws are there to protect those who mean to harm you.  Those who threaten you, who stalk you and who harass you, they have rights.  Even though you may be a victim, they have the right to do those things to you until you finally get to the point where the system will finally stop them.

This is something that I never realized.  I guess it may be that I try to follow the rules, follow the laws, that I was oblivious to this.  I never realized how messed up our system was until I had experience with it first hand.

An individual can be mentally ill and be allowed to repeatedly harass you, threaten to kill you in many ways, threaten others and even invade your personal space, but they still have rights.

Some of those rights are the right to be able to walk around and continue the threats and harassment.  The right to have a family member bail them out only to have them run and be unaccounted for.  The right to show up for plea court with no representation, so that the trial is continued for another month while they TRY to get them to accept a public defender.  This has happened three times now.

So as a victim, you are left, clearing your schedules to make court appearances, to testify against them, only to have those trials continued another month because they showed up again, representing themselves, and they are deemed not competent to do so by the court. 

What does it take for family and the system to see that they are dangerous?  Do they actually have to harm or kill someone?  It’s a sad state of affairs.

Family members will bail them out and then dismiss you, as someone, who is  overreacting.  “They don’t know where you live” yet they come to your home when they aren’t permitted within 50 yards of you, your home or your workplace.  “They don’t have anything on them to hurt you”, I guess that means weapons, yet the deadliest weapons we all have are our hands.  “I guess you are happy now” when they fuck up for the umpteenth time now and are going back to jail.

Its time to stop making excuses for these people.  Stop coddling them.  Stop bailing them out.  Start making them accountable for their actions, get them the help that they need.

Tomorrow, I hope we are finally on the way to stopping this destructive behavior we’ve been dealing with for years, most seriously since November.  It’s time to get this person the help that he needs.  He doesn’t need to be out, running amok, living as a homeless person, unaccounted for.  It’s time he is either in an institution or a jail cell.  He lost his right to live as he wants to a long, long time ago.

It’s time to take our lives back, one without fear, one without having to constantly look over our shoulders.  A life that doesn’t begin with having to check into SAVIN and the PA Docket application each morning to ensure that he is still in jail.

Tomorrow, we pray that it begins to be our time.  We are going to be able to stand and look at this individual and say “FUCK YOU”.  You don’t own us.  You have no right to treat us this way.   Our rights outweigh your rights ten to one.