Stitch 'N Bitch

It started with a simple Facebook status. "This nip in the air is making me want to get my knitting needles out". That simple status resulted in may friends asking me to teach them how to knit. My Aunt BJ suggested that I start a Stitch 'N Bitch since they are all the rage in New York.

Ford City Stitch 'N Bitch was born. What is a Stitch 'N Bitch, you ask? Well, it's a gathering, where you stitch and bitch! You knit, crochet, do counted cross stitch, embroider, anything you want, you can even just sit and visit and not craft. One hundred percent participation is required in bitching, though. If you don't know how to knit or crochet, someone will teach you!

We held our first Stitch 'N Bitch on Monday at The Purple Pinkie. It was a great success! Our plan is to move the monthly gatherings to another female-owned business each month. Many made pot scrubbies as their first project. BFF Jill made a penis lip balm holder, if you look closely at the photo, she is holding it!

BFF Jill and I have been wanting to make a second how-to video since vacation. We decided to do one on "How to make your own crocheted tampon" We learned about these and that people were actually making them and USING them on The Burgh Blog, which is now named That's Church. We have joked about these for over a year. I think our second video turned out fabulous!

Why don't I blog anymore?

I find that I am blogging less and less. I have no idea why. I have plenty of things to write about. I could fill up the blog with the numerous pictures that I take on a daily basis, yet I average about 5 posts a month. I guess I have just hit a lull. Maybe the fall and winter months will breathe some life back into me.

Corn Skanks are Snoopy People

In the bathroom at the salon, we have a louvered door, which the hot water tank is behind. Every single child that enters that bathroom has to snoop behind the door. We can tell because the door does not sit on the track correctly and it falls off and is very difficult to get back on track.

We've only had ONE adult that was snoopy and that was The Corn Skank. What is a corn skank you ask? Well I've only ever met two of them.

When I worked at the credit union, each summer, when corn was in season, The Corn Skank would hit town. She was a trashy little number that was hired by a farmer to sell corn on the corner of Ford Street in front of the old Greenbaums Building. She was always dressed with T & A hanging out, which should have been covered because it wasn't prime, want to look at T & A. She had a perpetual cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She also had about six of the most dirtiest, stickiest kids you've ever seen running amok up and down the street. When they left for the day, you could see their remnants on the sidewalk and street: Cigarette butts, candy wrappers, corn silk, spilled sticky stuff, you name it. The street needed a good disinfecting when they left.

A couple of years ago, a new, younger, less skanky Corn Skank set up shop in the parking lot next to the salon. When she came in asking to use my bathroom, I agreed after she gave me a dozen ears of corn. I figured I have bleach.

Well, I go in to disinfect the bathroom when she left and the door was hanging wide open. I don't know if she was looking for our stash of tampons, or maybe she thought this was where we hid the liquor. It was obvious that she didn't attempt too hard to try to hide the fact that she was snooping.

I haven't seen any Corn Skanks this year. That's a good thing, they usually make my blood pressure go up. I've also noticed that most places along the highways have the self-serve things. I guess Corn Skanks are being hit by this recession too, huh?

Nursing Homes are Amusing

I spend a lot of time in nursing homes. My mother has lived in one since February 2006 and now one of my oldest and sweetest clients, Mary, has been living in one since spring. I just spent the last hour with Mary, visiting and doing her nails.

Nursing homes can be very entertaining. I think a reality show would be really funny. They all have their own characters. My mother's nursing home has quite a few. There is Thomas, who has no legs and can't talk very well. I learned recently that he was deaf, which explains a lot. He squeals with delight when he sees me. I think I am one of his girlfriends. He communicates with me by mouthing the words in a very exaggerated way and spelling words with his finger in the air.

Then there is Merle. He buzzes around in his chair everywhere, asking anyone he can see to unhook his safety belt. Of course, we have to tell him no.

Mary's home is a little bit more exciting. It's more of a home than a facility, like mom's. The residents at Mary's are more able bodied and just need some assistance. There are some constants though. They almost all have walkers and the women almost all wear wigs. I am fairly certain that even though they watch TV, they have no idea what they are watching.

At both places, the residents are very well taken care of. The nurses and aids truly like the residents. You can just see it and feel it.

After finishing Mary's nails, I sat with her awhile. We sat there and watched out the window as a big, beautiful, black cat frolicked in the immense yard, behind the home. We watched him hunker down, flick his tail and then pounce on something. I think it was a bug.

Even though it is painful to see my mother and Mary, not being able to care for themselves, it is a comfort to see them both in homes like these. They are receiving good care.

Super Update

Holy crap, it's been nearly a month since I've posted. I've been busy, busy, busy. So, here is a mass update.

I passed my Motorcycle Safety Course, thus earning my license! In fact, everyone in the class passed. I was certain that Dudley, who had to redo three of the four maneuvers, and Farm Boy would not pass, but they did. Now that I know how to shift gears, I want to! But Tootie (I finally named my Scooter) will have to do for now!

I was in California last weekend for the Young Nails Educator training. WOW, was that awesome! Thirty of the most talented people I know all in one room together, working as a team to be creative and create awesomeness! It was so nice to finally meet some of the new Mentors that I've never met!

While in California, The Bachelor was holding open auditions at our hotel. OMG, the hootchies were out in masses. I sat and people watched for quite some time. Here is a memorable contestant. I swear, she had balls. One thing for sure, she was lit!

Last weekend, I went with BFF Jill and family on the Millers Eddy Float. We floated down the river from near Foxburg to Jill's aunt and uncles house. It was approximately 5 miles and took about 5 hours.

I made a gallon of Lynn's sangria and we drank it all, plus they all drank a 36 pack of beer!

We had a float just for our beverages and snacks, we called it the Buffet Boat!

There were dragonflies everywhere. Seriously a gazillion of them. Some of them were making little dragonflies too. Imagine my surprise when I upload my photos and see I got a photo of them in action. Mandy doesn't look too impressed.

I put my camera in a Ziploc bag inside of a so-called waterproof purse. After awhile, I put it in the cooler. Dumb move. This was right about the time my camera got all frosty and then full of water. I think it's dead.

Well, that is about it. I hope to update more regularly now!

Motorcycle Class Day 2

Today was day two of the Motorcycle Safety Class. We got to ride today. I couldn't get my hands on a small video camera, but I should have one for next week. I did get this lovely photo of Douchbag. He's sitting on his "work car". Don't you just love his cowboy boots? Hawt! LOL

Well, I've renamed Wimpy. He reminds me of Dudley from Wild Hogs, so that is what I will refer to him as from now on. Dudley didn't do too bad. Dudley was behind me a lot and he really liked to rev his engine. Other than that and coming to a skidding stop at the end of every cycle, he wasn't too bad today.

Douchebag can ride, but he's still annoying. At one point, he is addressing one of the instructors as "Don", I told him that his name is Ben, to which he said, well Don is the other one, to which I said, "You mean BOB?". He then reminded me that he is old.

Three bikes went down. One bike was two of those downers. There are two other women in my class, a mother and daughter. The mother dumped her bike twice. She weighs like 90 pounds wet, so the fact that she kept the bike upright for the majority of the time was commendable on her part. The other bike that went down was mine. In my defense, I just gently laid it down and it was quite graceful. See, I was in the front row in the staging area, we were to immediately cut off our engines when we stopped, it was quite some time before everyone was in. We were told to dismount our bikes and I guess in that length of time, I totally forgot to put the kick stand down. I got a really nice look at Dudley's shoes, since he was to my immediate left. Nothing was hurt on me or the bike.

We then had to watch some more demonstrations then headed back to our bikes to try what we just watched. I get on my bike, look to my left and who do I see? Douchebag! He is on Dudley's bike! Why? Beats me. I guess Douchebag is just used to being in the front and just assumed it was his bike and Dudley is just clueless and went to the first bike that didn't have a rider. Now I KNOW that it was Dudley's bike next to mine because I just smelled his loafers!

Day two was a lot of fun and a very good learning experience. I learned to shift clear up to third gear and shift down. I learned how to come to a quick, controlled stop. I learned how to do a tight figure eight. I learned how to corner. I learned that Grizzly Adams thinks that I look good on a bike because he told me. He asked me what I rode and imagine the look on his face when I told him a Scooter? LOL The most important thing I learned today was to put the freaking kick stand down when dismounting.

I'm looking forward to next week, class and written test on Monday and more riding and riding test on Tuesday. If I pass both tests, I will have my license. Wild Hogs!!

Motorcycle Class Day 1

Today was Day One of my Motorcycle Safety Course. After fretting about where I was going to find boots this time of year, I was overjoyed when my instructor said that high top sneakers are acceptable, as long as they cover your ankles. Score!!

So, every class has a Douchebag and boy do we have one. I don't know if he is just making this shit up or if he really is that stupid and believes his nonsense. In two hours and forty-five minutes, we had to listen to at least a dozen stories like how he was hit by a car that is making a u-turn and while he is on the ground, the driver flips him off. My personal favorite was the one where he is on his motorcycle and comes around a bend and there is a huge LOG in the middle of the road and he "stood the bike up on end and ran over it". Yeah right. If that didn't make the 10 other people in the room all roll their eyes in synchronization, I don't know what will. And before you all start thinking that he was on a dual purpose bike, he was on a Harley. *cough*BULLSHIT*Cough*

Then we have Wimpy. Picture a soft-spoken, college professor type. So smart, but so dumb. We were all assigned questions to look up and we had to read our answers and give the page number so that everyone could highlight the answer. Wimpy just made shit up and it was usually wrong.

They assigned us to tables with people we didn't know. We were to interview a new friend and we had to introduce them to the class. Typical interview questions were: Name, where they were from, riding experience and what they wanted to gain from the class. Wimpy is assigned to a table with Grizzly Adams and Farm Boy. Wimpy interviews Grizzly and Grizzly interviews Wimpy, which leaves Farm Boy to interview himself. Seriously? You couldn't figure out how to do it so everyone interviewed someone else??

I just can't wait for tomorrow. We get on the bikes tomorrow. My money is on either Douchbag or Wimpy to hit the pavement. I plan to have my camera ready. This is turning out to be a very entertaining experience!! Stay tuned....................

We lost a good lady!

Yesterday, I returned home, after working a very long day, excited that I was going to start a five day Stay-Cation. I settled in for the night and checked my email, that is when I got the news. Mary Jane had passed away. Wow, I was speechless.

I met Mary Jane online at a golden retriever forum. She was our mother hen. It was the year that my mother was very ill. Mary Jane was encouraging me to go to Goldstock. At one point, I stated that I didn't think that I had the physical or emotional strength to drive the six hours by myself to get there. Mary Jane would not hear of it. I went and I am so glad I did.

I attended two more Goldstock's after that. Mary Jane was a pivotal figure for our group at all of these events. She planned and organized everything so that we all could make the most out of our time together.

There were days where you would come home from work and there would be a package from her. She was always sending gifts. She sent them when you got a new furbaby. She sent you a memorial gift when you lost one. She sent gifts when they had surgeries. She was just always thinking of others.

Mary Jane, along with Pam, was pivotal in rescuing Travis from the Amish farm. Mary Jane and her husband put up all of the money to spring him until we could fund raise to pay them back. She didn't hesitate, she new this wonderful dog deserved more. It was because of Mary Jane, Pam and Travis that we now have our Golden Friends Rescue group.

In early August, Mary Jane was having some back troubles. When she was at the beach, walking the dogs, she slipped and fell. After that, her back troubles got worse, then she started loosing feeling in her leg. She went in for tests and they found a lesion on her spine. It was cancerous. She had an operation and started receiving therapy. She kept getting worse. She never came home.

I am shocked and saddened that this all happened so fast. I am struggling with questions I have. Why? Why someone good? Why not someone evil? The hardest question I have is why is my mother still alive, when she clearly DOES NOT want to live, yet Mary Jane and my mother in law Nancy, both wanted to live so bad and they were denied. Why? I don't want my mother to die, but she clearly doesn't want to live, she is content to live in a nursing home having others do everything for her. Why?

We lost a great lady yesterday. She has touch so many lives, especially all of the animals that she helped have better lives. I thank her for Travis, he truly is a special creature that would have had a horrible life. We may have lost her, but heaven is a little brighter today. A fiery redhead has joined the ranks and she's keeping her fellow angels in line.

God Speed Mary Jane.

Father's Day

Since both of our fathers spent Father's Day with other people's children, Mr. Bruises and I decided to spend it together with our boys. Travis and I took Mr. Bruises and Riley to his new swimming hole that we found. We had an awesome time.



















Travis had a great time, fetching ball after ball! I swear that dog never tires!



Riley, who is famous for being one of the only golden retrievers that I know that doesn't like water actually got in the creek on his own. I think he was inspired by Travis. Riley only went in until the water touched his belly.
We did manage to hold Travis and let Riley fetch a ball or two.

What a wonderful afternoon it was for all of us. We are going to try to do it on a regular basis!

Rules, why have them?

Seriously, why have rules when they never get enforced? This applies to so many things in life, but right now, it applies totally to nail competitions. One of the reasons that I quit competing years ago was rampant cheating and model thievery. Things got a little better through the years and I was talked into giving it another try. I guess some things never change.

While in Orlando, in both competitions, people were still working on their models after the briefing, even though the RULES state that you can't touch after briefing. My model actually had to call out the cheaters to officials. One particular competitor was doing it in both competitions. A competitor behind me asked when does that become grounds for disqualification. I agree with her. One warning is enough, come on, the rules were read to you just minutes before. If you do it repeatedly, your ass should be out. Period.

What is really chapping my ass right now is the fact that the rules specifically state that in art competitions that NO FLOWERS in any design. Yet I see pictures of the second and third place winners and what do I see? FLOWERS! Second place had 20 flowers, encompassing 2 of 10 nails and featured a Flower Shop in the design. Third place had five roses on five nails that is HALF of the design.

So word is that they got a 5 point deduction. WOW how generous. It should be 5 points per infraction, no, actually it should be disqualification. A rule is a rule and if you don't abide by it, it is considered CHEATING plain and simple. Cheating is grounds for disqualification.

My entry didn't make the top ten, yet I followed the rules and those that didn't made the top ten. Now I am not saying that my entry should have been in the top 10, but it should have been ranked before the rule breakers. Come on, how many Miss America's have you ever seen without a bouquet of roses? Answer? ONE the one I painted that followed the NO FLOWERS rule.

It's time for Nailpro to take a stand and enforce the rules. There should be no grey area. A rule is a rule. Enforce it. Enforce all of them. Giving points deductions here and there is a slap in the face to the competitors that abide by the rules, while you are rewarding those that wave their finger in the air to the rules.

Peace out!