Saturday, January 30, 2010

A wish came true on this day in 1977

Sunday, January 30, 1977 was a magical day in my life.  It was my tenth birthday and it was the first time that my wish on my birthday cake came true.  It was a cold, snowy day, actually the winter of 1977 was one of the coldest winters in Pittsburgh history.  I was spending the weekend at my father's house and we were having a little party with family.

When it came time to blow out my candles, the only thing that my ten year old mind could come up with to wish for was to have a snow day the next day.  Imagine my surprise that evening, when they announced on the television that school was cancelled for THE ENTIRE WEEK.  Not one snow day.......FIVE of them.  They cancelled school not because of all of the snow or snow that they were expecting, they cancelled it because of the extrene wind chill factor.  It was not safe to be outdoors.

So, if any of you remember this, I will expect thank you cards in the mail.  I was responsible for your week's vacation the first week of February 1977.  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!  

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Vacation Halfway Mark

We are at the halfway mark on our vacation.  Stupidly, I only brought one book and I read it the first day I was here.  Our resort doesn't have the awesome book swap in the lobby that the Riu had, which is where we have stayed the last two times we were here.  We realized last night that we were next door.  So......Mr. Bruises and I infiltrated the Riu Resort and raided the book swap.  Not much to choose from but I do have a book to read now.

Mr. Speedo was out again today, sunning his buns.  I was quite impressed with the fact that he had a new color on today.  I think I just may have to give hime the Mr. Speedo crown just for that fact alone.

Here he is sunning his Buns of Steel that I am sure he could crack nuts with.

I swear to God that this lady is the neighbor from Something About Mary, you know, the one with the wrinkled up boobies that suns herself all the time.  Let me tell you, she doesn't look bad from behind, especially since she's got to be about 90, but be thankful that I didn't take a photo from the front.  Yowsa!

And look!  Hulk Hogan is here too!  Someone needs to tell him to "Just Say NO to Crack!"

Finally, these three drunk people demonstrate for you why you should never drink and play in the surf!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Punta Cana - Wednesday

Well, we have settled in.  We know our way around this ginormous resort.  It's been very relaxing so far.  I actually got some things made for my Etsy Shop today.

This is the tram that takes us to the beach and back every day.  It takes us no more time to get to the beach as it did for us to walk to the beach from our other resort.

The Speedos are out in full force.  I've been collecting photos and video for the Mr. Speedo Hell No 2010 pagent.  This dude here, doesn't actually look to bad, at least he is built fairly good.  He reminds me a lot of someone from home "facewise".  Anyone want to guess who?

Here is the back view.  I think he could use just a teensy bit more material back there, but again, at least he doesn't have the saggy ass like last year's winner.

Internet is working awesome.  It's so nice to sit out on our veranda in the morning and evening blogging or catching up with all of you at home.  I hear you got some snow!  For that, I truly am sorry.  I promise to TRY to bring some warm weather home with me.

We have our first Ala Cart dinner tonight.  We get three.  Usually we eat at the buffet, but you can eat at three specialty restaurants during your stay.  Mr. Bruises is over the moon because he gets to eat at the Japanese Steakhouse tonight.  This isn't something I would normally enjoy, but I am going to suck it up for it.

It's the least I could so since he was my Speedo decoy today.  I pretended to take a lot of photos of him today while photographing Speedos.  Here, he is totally oblivious of the awesomeness that just passed him.

Now, he has finally caught on.

Oh, what would I do without Speedos on vacation?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Punta Cana - We're here!

We have arrived at the Grand Bahia Principe in Punta Cana. This place is enormous. I will admit, we were both a little overwhelmed when we got here due to the size of the place. After getting a snack, Mr. Bruises went to an orientation and walked around while I took a much needed nap. I felt much better after he woke me up and he felt much better after getting a feel for the place and learning the lay of the land.

The beach is so far away, however, they do have these little trams that take you to an from the beach. We just need to get into our routine and we will be fine.

I swear, no matter where you stay, the food is the same. I predict that I will be living on the “P Diet” again this year: Pineapple, Pizza, Pasta, Pepsi and Pina Coladas. We did get reservations at the three restaurants that we wanted, turns out they already had us booked for the Italian and Mexican, so we added the Japanese Steakhouse.

This place is 10 steps up from the Riu Resorts where we have always stayed. It’s OMG luxurious. The bathroom is to die for and our room is huge. There is something going on everywhere. We have our own little mall. We don’t have the bar in our room with the liquor hanging upside down with dispensers, but that’s okay, because Mr. Bruises insisted on bringing his own huge bottle of coconut rum for us and I am glad that he did.

The little fridge only had two Pepsis, two waters and two beers in it. While searching for an ice machine, I found a closet and helped myself to a case of Pepsi. Hey, it’s free and I am just helping the maid out by not having to bring us stuff for our rum. You should have seen Mr. Bruises face when I walked in the room with it.

I am typing this without Internet. I am going tonight to rent the wireless card. I have to take the laptop with me and they install something on it and I will be able to use my laptop in the room, in the lobby and at the pools. I only need it for in the morning, when I blog and in the evening to check email and upload photos and videos. I am a little concerned that they may load something onto my computer that I don’t want on there, however, I feel that if they do, I will be able to remove it later and I really don’t keep anything personal on here like credit card numbers and such.

We are going to be off for our first beach adventure soon. I have the Flip Cam all charged up for the Mr. Speedo Hell No 2010 pageant.

Monday, January 25, 2010

And we're off!

Mr. Bruises and I are heading out for our annual vacation.  We are going to Punta Cana.  This will be our third trip there.  I am so ready to escape life and the wonderful Pennsylvania weather.

I should have Internet once there, so I hope to update daily as well as still keep uploading my Project365 photo a day photos.

Our house sitter and pet sitter will be taking care of things while we are gone, so don't get any funny ideas about looting our house while we are gone.  Tina and BFF Jill are holding down the fort at The Purple Pinkie as well.

I will be taking orders soon.  If you would like me to drink a Pina Colada for you, let me know and I will!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The power of the sauerkraut

We are 20 days into 2010 and it’s proving to be a very shitty year. I’ve had more problems than I’ve had in awhile. Problems with my mom, problems with employees, Jackasses purchasing plasma televisions with my old Discover card, customer service representatives that don’t do their jobs, the list goes on and on.

I attribute all of this to one thing. I did not eat pork and sauerkraut on New Year’s Day. I am a dumbshit. Never again will I make this mistake. I wonder if I ear it now if it will help?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Give me Habib any day!

People bitch about calling customer service or tech support for companies and taking to some dude in India, usually named Habib.  This past week, I was amazed that I was speaking with Americans when calling Discover Card to report some fraud on my account.

It started last with with an early morning call from Dell.  Habib, on the phone asked to verify if I had purchased a television online that morning.  I replied no.  He asked me a few other questions and verified that that someone was using my Discover Card number online to purchase things.  He told me to call Discover.

I called Discover and get an American woman.  I tell her the situation and she asks me if I purchase things online with my card.  I replied yes.  She tells me, that's how this happened.  You shouldn't buy things online with your credit card.  WTF?!  I informed her that this is 2010 and I would say that 85% of my purchases are made online.  She finds the charge and tells me that they are going to have to close out my account and I will get a new card in the mail within 3-5 working days.  She then explains that there is zero percent liability on fraud, which I already knew from working in a credit union.  She then tries to sell me their Fraud Protection plan for $9.95 a month.  I asked her if she had not just explained to me that there is zero percent liability and she agreed and I asked her why the hell would I pay for this service when I don't need it?  Crickets......

So, fast forward to this week.  I have to make some supply purchases.  I get an email from one company that said that my card was declined.  I call the Discover automated number and nearly flip my wig when I am told that I have a $97 available balance.  This should be THOUSANDS more.  So I call them again.  This time, I get an American guy.  He can't seem to understand what I am telling him.  He reads me my balance and my pending charges and he still can't grasp the fact that when you add them all together and subtract from my credit limit that it should be several thousands of dollars more.

Finally he realizes that the first girl closed my account as a lost or stolen card and didn't mark it as fraud.  So, even though I had a new card, authorizations were still coming in on the old card.  Since it is closed, those charges were not being put through BUT the amounts were all still adding up and taking away from my available balance.  He informed me that he can have this flagged as fraud and that my available balance would be freed up in 4-6 days.  UNACCEPTABLE!  I informed him that this should have been taken care of a week ago and I am not waiting another week.  I demanded to speak to a supervisor.  He said he would transfer me once he read me something. 

He started to tell me that he was marking my new account as fraud, which would CLOSE OUT this new account, which is two days old and I flipped on him.  From this point, he started arguing with me.  I asked six times to be connected with a supervisor, I have a witness that was sitting there during the entire conversation.  He kept arguing with me and I kept telling him I am done with him and wanted a supervisor.  He put me on hold.  For a long time.  I was beginning to believe he wasn't going to transfer me, but he did.

I got nice American girl number two.  Finally, three Americans and I get a good one.  She quickly figured out that I now have THREE plasma TV purchases and other things that are being held against my available balance.  She said that it will be freed up within 24 hours.  I asked her why the previous dipshit couldn't do that and wanted to close out my card and she said she would check into it.  I asked her if they tape these phone calls and she replied yes.  I told her to go back and review the conversation and the fact that I had to ask six times to speak with her all while being argued with and talked to in a condescending manner.

I then asked why my account was classified as lost or stolen when it was obviously fraud.  Come one, the first dipshit tried to sell me their FRAUD protection.  She couldn't say why, but again, said she would look into it.

So, it looks as though Habib is the only one actually doing his job.  Actually, he went above and beyond the call of duty since he let me know within 32 minutes of someone purchasing TV number one with my card online.  It's sad that "most" Americans working in customer service, that I have experienced are lazy asses that don't do their jobs and then they want to sit there and bitch and complain that Habib has taken their job.  HELLO!

Give me Habib any day!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Jeffrey's Story

This is Jeffrey, our red-eared slider turtle, eating his breakfast today. I’ve been wanting to tell Jeffrey’s story on here, so here goes.

New Year’s Eve 2002, we went to our friend’s house, like we had for many years, to watch movies and celebrate the New Year. That year, for Christmas, their small son received two, little turtles, the size of a quarter from an aunt. There were in one of those small, plastic carriers, with an attached lid. My friend, knowing that I am an animal lover, begged me to take them home with me since she was afraid that her son would get salmonella from them and die. I guess she didn’t care if I got salmonella.

So, since I always seem to have SUCKER written on my forehead, I took them home. Within a day, they had a new set up that was pretty much a mansion for them. I had an old aquarium that I set up with a filter, air bubbles and even built them a basking area with some large stones. Every time Mr. Bruises would approach them, he would sing the theme from The Jefferson’s “Well we’re moving on up!”

I dare you to watch this video and NOT dance along with these guys. Bet you can't do it!

One turtle was very flamboyant, swimming wildly and comically in the water, while the other was more subdued and preferred to sleep. I named them Jack and Will, respectively after characters from Will and Grace.

In May, I was going to Hawaii on a cruise that I earned from selling Stampin’ Up! products. My mother was coming daily to take care of the cat and guinea pig, since Riley was going to my inlaws to stay. (Travis wasn’t around then) I instructed my mother to make sure if Will died, to remove him from the tank so that he wasn’t stinking up the place. I had a suspicion that he was going to die because he just was never active, just laid around a lot.

When I returned home from Hawaii, my mother said that while Will was there Monday and Tuesday, when she went on Wednesday, he was gone. She thought he got out. There is no way in sweet hell that that turtle got out. No way. Impossible. I waited an additional month to clean the tank and when I did, I didn’t find one toenail of Will’s. Jeffrey had eaten every bit of his brother. I guess when turtles get ill, their shells get soft. I can only hope that Will died and then Jack ate him and that Jack didn’t eat him alive.  (How about that Little Tank of Horrors scenario, Burgh Baby?)

From that point on, Jack was known as Jeffrey. As in Dahmer. Who else would you name a turtle after when he eats his housemate?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Bra Color Prudes - DAOTW

Last week, I got a notice in my Facebook Inbox to put the color of my bra as my FB Status to help raise awareness for breast cancer.  Nothing else, just the color.  I did it.  You know, you can't be too aware of this horrible disease and now that the powers that be claim that you don't need to do breast exams and you don't need regular mamograms at the young ages of 40-49.  I guess they think you only get breast cancer after 50.

So, it was quite amusing to see how many people participated in this.  I have a network of over 600 people on my FB account.  I know a lot of people because of being in the nail industry, roller derby, Stampin' Up!, family and friends.  I swear, every female on my friend's list participated.

Friday, a client told a story of some people on HER friends list complaining about the stunt.  Here are the two Dumbasses of the Week.  One, a man, complained that it was like nails on a chalk board.  Another, a woman, said that she was not to happy that she was going to have to sit behind some people in church on Sunday and know what color bra that person has on and it was disgusting.  REALLY?!?

First, the guy, based on past history, before he became a Christian, most likely is pissed that he can't see all these bras in person.  Sorry, church dosen't cure sex addicts, therapy does.  Second, the woman probably only has sex for procreation, she never would consider it for pleasure.  Third, I bet this woman has the same "disgusting thoughts in church" problem after going to the beach or a public pool and running into another parishioner in their swimming suit.  Let's face it, some swimming suits are MORE revealing than a bra.  Remember the Speedos people?  With this incident, people only TYPED the color and she had to read it, OMG imagine the horror of her seeing with her own eyes! 

They both better go to church and pray for themselves.  Seriously, quit being such a hypocrite in the first case and a prude in the second case.  Too many woman are suffering with this disease and sadly many die from it. 

Just like television, if you don't want to watch it, change the channel.  If you don't want to participate, don't post it and don't read it.  If it bothers you enough, delete those people, I am sure you would be left with only men on your friends list then. :o)

Now go feel your boobies, girls!

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Infamous Green Sticker

Well, here it is folks, the infamous green sticker on my mother's name plate, outside her door that is supposed to make me STOP and take warning that there is an infectious disease in the room.  Oh, look and it's times two!

First, it's yellow, not green.  Second, it is approximately three inches by one inch, which REALLY stands out.  Finally, walking down the hall, when I was leaving, I noticed that very few name plates DO NOT have these stickers or some other type of sticker.

This sticker is pre-printed with the word "PRECAUTIONS" on it.  It then has "See Nurse" hand written on it.  That's it.  Smack me silly and call me a dumb shit, but I think this is very minimal at best.  Sad thing, they are compliant with the law.

It seems as though they were totally complient in all areas.  They DO NOT have to call me if my mother says not to, even if she is saying "Don't call her, she's not home, she's on vacation".  See my mom is still in the frame of mind that we are all tied to a land line at the house.  She doesn't understand that I have my cell phone with me at all times. 

No offense, but a six year old would have figured out what she meant, that she didn't want them to call me because I was on vacation and not home.  She did not mean that she DIDN'T WANT ME TO KNOW!  So, to rectify this situation and to prevent it from happening in the future, the social worker and I talked to her together and we have it marked in her file that mom wants me to know everything.  Always.

I really wish the government would stay the hell out of my relationship with my mother and let me provide and oversee her care without their stupid bullshit laws.  Now I know how the gays and lesbians feel.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Dumpster Diving 2010

BFF Jill and I went Dumpster Diving yesterday.  You will remember the first time that we went, we scored big.  We scored pretty good yesterday, not quite as good as the last time, but still good.  We filmed the whole fiasco this time.  Just listening to our banter makes me realize why I love this girl!  Enjoy!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Chippie Tales

People ask all of the time how Chip is.  I thought I was long overdue with an update on her.  YES, I said HER.  Chip is a SHE.  For those of you who don't know her story, you can read about it here.  When you are finished with that, you can read all the rest here

Chip is thriving.  She has a beautiful coat.  She runs MILES on her wheel daily.  She still gets up at 7:00 am and she still goes to bed at 7:00 pm.  She loves walnuts, pumpkin seeds, dried papaya, bananas, catelope, honeydew and sunflower seeds.  She also loves Fruit Loops, Ritz crackers and icing, however, she only gets those as a treat every now an then.

I don't try to handle her, she has become increasingly aggressive as she has gotten older.  I don't think she would ever try to harm me.  She just totally charges the cage when you come near it.  It has made cleaning her cage a challenge.  She has escaped a number of times.  She is totally content and happy to be back in her cage later, I think she just charges the cage and falls out, then runs around like an idiot.  I am certain if I just left the door open, she would return to her cage eventually, but i don't want the other animals to hurt her by accident and I cenrtainly don't want her using my home as her bathroom. 

I still hold on to the hope that I can release her some day, but I know that isn't an option.  I can still dream about it though.  I really believe that if I did, she would try to get back into the house.

It's been wonderful getting to know a chipmunk, up close and personal.  I've always loved those creatures, I know have a deeper and stronger appreciation and love for them now.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Finding Peace

I’ve been a bit overwhelmed by the number of responses I’ve gotten from my last post. I’ve cried a lot in the past couple of days. It’s been a long time since I cried myself to sleep. I’ve taken a lot of what you all said to heart and have done a lot of thinking. I’ve also had a few heart to hearts with others in the exact same situation and I’ve finally come to the point where I want peace.

I’ve realized that my mother is not trying to exclude me due to selfishness or with malicious intent. I think it comes down to one single thing. She doesn’t understand the consequences of her answer. When asked if she wants me notified, she replies “no”. In her mind, she knows that I am busy and that I worry. She doesn’t want me to be bothered with the small stuff. See, in her mind, this is small stuff. She doesn’t know that this is HUGE, gigantic, monstrous stuff to me. So, I forgive her and I will try to find some way to convey this to her that she will understand.

This doesn’t, however, mean that I don’t think the nursing home people are right in what they are doing with this “you don’t have a right to know if she says you don’t” bullshit. I contacted Area Agency on Aging yesterday and spoke with a nice man. He is doing some research for me because some things are just not sitting well with him. He wants to have all the legal stuff confirmed and in front of him when he confronts them for me. This is promising. I called, yesterday, desperate for some new direction, since I feel that I am still back at square one.

As I sit here days later, most of the sting has went away, but there are still a few things that bother me. One is the Director of Nursing pretty much chiding me because I didn’t notice the little, green sticker on my mother’s name plate that says “Precaution” or something to that effect. I was escorted into the room. I didn’t see her name plate. Obviously, I am not the only dumb shit, since my cousin and my mother’s friend all went into that room not knowing that we were to use PRECAUATIONS. I guess we are all dumbshits. I pretty much told her that maybe they need to educate people more on those stickers and what they mean.

Second, when I brought up the fact that all three of us were concerned that we were exposed to an infectious disease unknowingly, she ROLLED HER EYES at me. Seriously? Yes! She is pretty much treating MRSA like it is the common cold. This scares the living bejeezus out of me.

So I am moving on, trying to find peace in all of that. Once I am to the point where I know I can talk to my mother without getting emotional, I will go to see her and try to talk to her.

Thank you all for the kind words of advice and encouragement. They mean the world to me.


Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I learned a lot about rights today.  I learned I have the right to handle her money, to pay her bills.  I have the right to attend her Care Plan meetings and be active in her care.  I have the right to visit and sit there in silence for an hour or more.  I have the right to bring her food, treats and goodies and have them gobbled up with no thank you.  I have the right to ask questions but don't have to receive answers.

She, however, has the right to not have me know if she moved rooms in the nursing home.  She has the right to not have me know that she was hospitalized.  She has the right to not have me know that she has an infectious disease and I can enter the room with my precious heart dog and be exposed to the disease.  She has the right to refuse to take a shower and she will continue to have that right until she smells, she is then a hinderance to her roommate and at which time, the roommate has the right to make her take a shower. 

All in all, how can someone that I give so much to and have done so much for in the past have the right to exclude me.  I mean I have had to do unspeakable things for this woman, like clean out a refrigerator that was full of rotten meat and maggots and clean an apartment that had three feet of trash over every single square inch.  I did this so many times I can't remember how many.  How can this woman choose to keep her only child, her only close relative besides a cousin uninformed.  How selfish.

What?  Is this punishment?  It's not my fault she is where she is.  That is totally on her.  She is the one that totally killed her kidneys by refusing to go to the doctor or take care of herself.  I will no longer be abused.  You want independence?  You got it.  You are on your own girl.  Good luck with that.

That.  That right there is MY right.

Keep Smiling!

Well, it's been snowing for days. I am not exaggerating. I seriously can’t remember a day when it hasn’t snowed. I am really trying hard not to get into my “I F’N hate this weather and I am going nowhere and doing nothing” mood.

I took the boys for a romp out in the snow yesterday. I took two pink balls out with us. I thought that they would be easy to see in the snow. Riley is naughty. He wants to fetch the ball and he does, but he will just drop it anywhere, it’s like he as ADD. So….only one ball came back with us.

Look how happy he looks! Both Travis and Riley LOVE the snow. They get all frisky, jumping up and kicking their back legs in the air like a bronco. I am “trying” to share their joy. Trying.

I will be putting on my boxing gloves in two hours. I will be attending my mothers Care Plan Meeting. Usually, I go and get updates. This time will be different, I have a list of things that I need answers for.

I am going take the lead of the ever-so-wise Dory and “Just keep swimming” and add to it “Just keep smiling!”

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

How I Almost Died Yesterday

I almost died yesterday, in the shower, because of a fingernail.  Yes, that fingernail pictured to the left.  My nails are remnants of a set that I got on vacation last month.  They are the "Edge" nail, which are very pointy and look like an upside down "V" when looking down the barrel of the nail, instead of the normal half circle shape.

Anyway, I was in the shower and was washing my face with cleanser.  All of a sudden, my pinkie finger, nail and all, was entirely up my one nostril.  I must have started making some odd noises, because Mr. Bruises heard me in the kitchen and asked what was up.  As he came running in, I told hime to get me a rag.  I guess in my brain stabbing, I didn't think to use my washcloth.  He opens the shower curtain to hand me the rag and he is all "Holy Shit, what the hell did you do?"  I explain what happened.  He is white and he leaves the room.

I proceed to have the worst nose bleed of my entire life.  Blood is running down the back of my throat and it is not only coming out of my nose, I can taste it and I am spitting it.  I am dizzy and woozy and finally realize to pinch my nose and tilt my head back.  Finally, the bleeding seems to stop, but my shower now looks like the one from Psycho.

I was fine until it was time to dry my hair.  I start blowing it dry upside down to give it volume.  My nose starts bleeding again.  So, I start pinching and tilting back again.  I realize I need to blow my nose.  You can't imagine the clots of blood that I blew out.  Holy mother of God.

I am happy to report that I blew my nose this morning and there wasn't even a hint of blood.  I can't, however, get the memory of my finger sliding up my nose and my nail nearly piercing my brain out of my head.  Funny thing.....when I posted about this on Facebook, no less than a dozen nail tech friends have had it happen as well!

So men, please don't underestimate your woman's fingernails.  They really can be a lethal weapon!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Heather's Wedding

BFF Jill and I drove to Big Run, PA for Heather and Stan’s wedding, this past Saturday. Thank goodness we took Jill’s Jeep because we needed the four wheel drive. It was snowing like crazy.

We stopped in Punxsutawney, on the way, and went and saw Phil and Phyllis. They were all curled up in a ball, nice and snuggly, oblivious to the 19 degrees that it was outside. I got some stares, wearing a party dress, with a winter coat and purple UGG boots, but hey, I like to cause a scene.

So, once we are at the wedding, it is apparent that we are over dressed. Some came in jeans, flannels and camo hats. BFF Jill and I were apparently high-falutin, city folk in Jefferson County.

The highlight of the wedding reception was the fire sirens going off. Doesn’t that happen at EVERY reception? We just sat back and watched all the firemen either chug their beer or take them with them as they rushed out of the door.

I guess they need to change the sign now, huh?

It was a beautiful wedding and reception and we wish Heather and Stan a life time of happiness!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

It's 2010!  Yeah!  Mr. Bruises and I celebrated last night with BFF Jill, Brandon and company at the Ford Cliff firehall.  We had lots of fun, especially with a baby and making fun of the redneck followers of the disc jockey.  We have video footage, so don't worry, you will get to enjoy it all right with us!

The boys were left home alone for the celebration.  Looks like they partied a little themselves!  Happy New Year!