Corn Skanks are Snoopy People

In the bathroom at the salon, we have a louvered door, which the hot water tank is behind. Every single child that enters that bathroom has to snoop behind the door. We can tell because the door does not sit on the track correctly and it falls off and is very difficult to get back on track.

We've only had ONE adult that was snoopy and that was The Corn Skank. What is a corn skank you ask? Well I've only ever met two of them.

When I worked at the credit union, each summer, when corn was in season, The Corn Skank would hit town. She was a trashy little number that was hired by a farmer to sell corn on the corner of Ford Street in front of the old Greenbaums Building. She was always dressed with T & A hanging out, which should have been covered because it wasn't prime, want to look at T & A. She had a perpetual cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She also had about six of the most dirtiest, stickiest kids you've ever seen running amok up and down the street. When they left for the day, you could see their remnants on the sidewalk and street: Cigarette butts, candy wrappers, corn silk, spilled sticky stuff, you name it. The street needed a good disinfecting when they left.

A couple of years ago, a new, younger, less skanky Corn Skank set up shop in the parking lot next to the salon. When she came in asking to use my bathroom, I agreed after she gave me a dozen ears of corn. I figured I have bleach.

Well, I go in to disinfect the bathroom when she left and the door was hanging wide open. I don't know if she was looking for our stash of tampons, or maybe she thought this was where we hid the liquor. It was obvious that she didn't attempt too hard to try to hide the fact that she was snooping.

I haven't seen any Corn Skanks this year. That's a good thing, they usually make my blood pressure go up. I've also noticed that most places along the highways have the self-serve things. I guess Corn Skanks are being hit by this recession too, huh?