Progressing

So, I have had the repeat of my past testing done.  I had an appointment yesterday for what I "thought" was just going over test results.  When I arrived, I was told that I needed to give a urine specimen and I asked if she wanted my copay, since last time, she collected it as soon as I arrived.  She responded that it depended on whether he was going to be doing a procedure on me.  At that point, I nearly died.

Here I am, like a lamb being sent to the wolves, being told that I am going to have THAT PROCEDURE done again.  The one I specifically said I would not have without either narcotics or being put under.  I, at this point, look at the girl and tell her I am not having that done today, that I didn't have anything prescribed for pain.  She politely responded that "Oh, it's not painful at all!"  I told her that I had this done before and I had been prescribed high milligrams of Motrin before hand that did nothing and it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life and I will NOT be having it done.  She told me that I could discuss it with the doctor.

Let me tell you something.  I am not a wuss.  I am not a cry baby.  I don't give a shit if you have had this procedure done and you thought it was a cake walk.  Everyone is different.  I have a very high tolerance for pain.  I sat through two, nearly three hour sessions, getting my entire foot and ankle tattooed and it wasn't bad at all.  Previously, the new doctor said that since I haven't had children, my lady parts, inside, are small.  They are also unusually shaped and tilted.  These factors can make things uncomfortable.  Why didn't the other jackass know this?

At this point, I am beginning to hyperventilate.  This is the first time, I think of bolting out of the door, never to return.  I go into the restroom and collect my urine sample, in a fog, trying to calm down.  I go back out to the waiting room and wait to be called.  I now have the second thought of bolting I am very close to the door, it would be easy to do.

I get called back, I get weighed and have my height measured then get put into a room and get my blood pressure taken.  I have two nurses/aids with me.  I figure they are maybe training a new girl.  After the blood pressure the one asks me if I brought my "E String".  I am like what the hell is that?  It's some contraceptive device that she thinks I am replacing.  She checks my chart and confirms that it is NOT ME who is to receive this procedure.  It's now the third time I want to want to run out the door.

I am then handed a sheet and told to undress from the waist down.  I am near flip out mode at this point and inform, yet another person that I WILL NOT be having that procedure.  They tell me that the doctor will decide that.  At this point, I burst into tears and again reiterate that I WILL NOT be having that procedure.  I am handed a tissue, told to undress from the waist down, cover with the sheet and I can discuss it with the doctor.  This is now the fourth moment that I just want to run out the door.  SCREAMING!

I do as I am told.  The doctor comes in and asks how I am and I reply "I'm okay".  He takes one look at me and realizes I am not okay.  He asks what's wrong and I just unload.  I tell him I am not going to let him do that procedure.  I tell him all about the last one.  I am, at this point, to the panicked, crying stage, where I can't catch my breath.

He asks for the pathology report from a procedure that the past doctor did.  He then starts talking to me and calms me down.  Bottom line is, he didn't do the procedure and I am grateful.  He decided to accept the pathology results from 2010.  Thank God.

We then discussed a plan of action.  He likes things to go in steps.  I would prefer that we go clear to the end step, however, he recommended the first step.  I agreed to that.  Anything is better than what I have now and he's confident that I have a very high chance of this fixing my problems.  I din't have the energy to argue anymore.

On June 14, I will have a Novasure procedure done along with a tubal.  Not that the bakery was ever open, the oven will be totally shut down.  God I hope this works.