Mr. Speedo? Hell NO!

I've seen enough Speedos to last a lifetime, ever since my vacation to Punta Cana. They were everywhere. Speedos are awful. Even when you are in shape, they look horrible.

You can see, these three guys are in fairly good shape, yet they look ridiculous in these Speedos! I guess it is nice that their upper thighs get tanned, but it's just not doing it for me.

Then you got the pudgies.

And the muffin tops.

Guys, your swim attire should never be as small as your girl's

And should never, ever, EVER be smaller!

I'm too sexy for my Speedos, too sexy for my Speedos, to sexy for my Speedos!

Then you have the "Peek a Boo, I see You" when they throw on a shirt.  Come on, put on some pants!  This is the lovely scene you see at the lunch buffet.

Then there is this guy.  His swim suit is smaller than his wife's.

Then he has to carry on a conversation with a perfect stranger, almost naked, scratching is ass.

His daughter is crying because she is scared of the Speedo!

And now for the finalists in the 2009 Speedo Hell No pageant. We have in fourth place. The front view was better, but I didn't get a photo of it.

In third place, we have the man channeling Jabba the Hut from his belly

In second place, we have The Sasquatch! 

Finally, Mr. Speedo Hell No 2009!  I have no words.  My mouth is still hanging wide open a week later.  The best part was that Mr. Bruises spotted this one and kicked me to grab the camera!