Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Another Year

Today is my mother's birthday. I am trying very hard to not be sad or melancholy today. I just miss the woman that she used to be. Some days, it's like a stranger is sitting there with me.

Before my mom had her health problems, she was me times ten. She was loud, funny, the center of attention, the life of the party. It pains me to see her quiet, meek, timid and non-social. This woman was social butterfly of the year. Now she barely interacts with anyone. I am lucky if we have a conversation when I visit weekly.

I wanted to make her birthday special, like I always have. I can remember the years, where we had the balloon wars. I filled her entire car with balloons on her birthday and she paid me back by filling the entire shower with them on mine.

This year, I struggled with coming up with a gift to give her. I walked around aimlessly for hours. It's hard to find a meaningful gift for someone that has no ambition in life, no interests, no real joy. I finally settled on a digital photo key chain and loaded it up with photos of good memories. I chose that over a frame so that she could hold it, touch it. I also got her some peanut butter eggs and purple peeps, which are her favorites this time of year.

So, in a few hours, I will head to the nursing home to visit her today, her special day. I will do my best to be cheerful, positive and upbeat even though I am crying inside, missing my mom more than ever.


~Kammie~ said...

wow--when I read this I thought you were writing this about my mom--sounds like we have the exact same mom will only be turing 60 but you would think she was 80 by the way she acts and lives nowadays. It is truly sad but for me and my sister also very frustating. After her stroke, she wasn't this bad at first but I think she had another one (either she won't tell us or is in denial again) and this time hit her hard. Some brain damage seems to be the main factor. Thankfully she has a great husband that takes care of her and puts up with her LOL

It is hard when you have had an outgoing mom to see them like this--I feel your pain.

Make the most of the day and keep your chin up :OP
love ya'

Bob said...

Rhonda; We know how you feel. We only had to deal with this type of situation for 8 months before my Mom passed away. We know what a helpless feeling this is and we wish you strength.

YD said...

I feel so sad for you. I really can't say that I know how you feel but please hang in there. You mom is very lucky to have a loving daughter like you.