Giving Thanks

So today is Thanksgiving.  So many people are giving thanks to all the things they are thankful.  Today, I woke up, not really thankful for anything.  To me, this has been one of the worst years of my life.  I blame it totally on the fact that I didn't eat pork and sauerkraut on New Year's Day.  I will not be making that stupid mistake again.

I mean seriously.  2010 has brought me a lot of heartache and sadless.  I had to fire not one but two employees this year.  I am still trying to reach around to remove the giant butcher knives that were stabbed deep into my back.  I've had more than my share of run-ins with the nursing home and the IRS concerning my mother.  My mother died.  I got jacked around by an attorney for seven months and finally got things straigtened out.  My sweet little Chip died.

After thinking of all of this, and feeling sorry for myself, I realized, it's really not that much.  Yes, I lost my mom, but there are so many others that are having a much shittier year.  So I decided to pull up my big girl panties and think of all that I am thankful for.

I am thankful that I have the most amazing dogs that have the ability to make me feel better just by looking at them.  I am thankful for a best friend that just seriously gets me.  Despite an 11 year age difference, we are so alike and in tune, it's scarey.  I am thankful for my Aunts Robin and BJ.  I can always see my mother's face in Aunt Robin's eyes and hear a smidge of mom's voice in hers. 

I am thankful for a job that allows me to laugh, be creative and have fun.  I am thankful to work with two of the best gals that anyone could ask for.  They are loyal, they are hard workers and most of all, they put up with my menopausal mood swings.  They deserve an award for that alone.

I bet you thought that I was going to forget Mr. Bruises.  I am thankful for him.  He annoys the ever, loving shit out of me a great deal of the time, but what husband doesn't do that?  I am thankful that he lets me live my life and doesn't try to control me like other husbands.  He puts up with my love of animals and my borderline hoarding habits.  In turn, I put up with Glenn Beck and Fox News.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.  Be thankful for what you have instead of feeling bad about what you don't have.

MOM

Well, today is Mother's Day. Mom is still in the hospital. She had surgery on Wednesday. They had to amputate the middle and ring fingers on her left hand due to the Osteomylitis and MRSA that was spreading. I am not sure which came first, but the Osteomylitis is a possible side effect of dialysis.

Her heart rate elevated when they were bringing her out of anesthesia so as a precaution, they put her in ICU. She is still there and should be going to a regular room soon. I don't mind ICU, she gets individual attention there.

One thing in honoring my mother today, I remember what a strong woman she was. She was married to an abusive man, who was an alcoholic and drug abuser. She stood up for herself and her child and left him. She was a single mother. She did the best that she could and I would say she was successful. Look at me. It's because of her.

I am amazed that 40 some years later, there are women that are still controlled by the men that are supposed to love them. They don't have any friends because they aren't allowed. They are told what to do, where to go, when to do things. Their lives are totally controlled. That is absolute horse shit.

I am thankful that Mr. Bruises is not that kind of man. Let's face it, if he was, he wouldn't be Mr. Bruises, like my mother, I would have moved on. That's one of the many things that she taught me.

Thanks Mom. I love you. Happy Mother's Day.

Mr. Speedo 2010

This year, just like last year, the Speedos were out in full force in Punta Cana.  This year, however, I crowned TWO Mr. Speedos.  I crowed the second Mr. Speedo Hell NO and this year, there was a contestant that wore a Speedo so impressively that I had to crown him Mr. Speedo 2010.  Folks, he had at least four Speedos on this trip.  He could have had more and I just didn't see him the other three days.

Here is a little video montage that I put together.....

Here are some noteables that I got still photographs of.  First, we have Hulk Hogan.  Listen Hulk, don't you know that crack kills?

This guy needs the same advice, just say no to crack.  Seriously, if the crack of your ass is showing you need to purchase a bigger size or two.

Speedos and fanny packs?  Really?  Shouldn't that be on your fanny, not on your "package"?

Here is Mr. Bruises, totally oblivious to the awesomeness that just passed by him.

Now he finally learns and gets in on the act!  I hope someone gave that dude some sunscreen!

Okay and here is Mr. Speedo 2010!  I swear this guy could crack a nut with his buttocks!  THIS is what you should look like if you want to wear a Speedo!

We've got the blue and orange print.

The blue tie dye.

The black one, which had red stipes on the front.

And a yellow and blue print.

And now a closer look at Mr. Speedo Hell No.  I swear in the video, he paused and let me get a good, long look at him.  Trouble is, I was blinded by all of that white shit on his face. 

Until next time.......

SNOWverdose

Sorry I haven't updated since getting home from vacation.  I've been busy at work and then we got hit with a MAJOR snow storm Friday night.  We are now getting hit again.  I haven't forgotten about Mr. Speedo, he is coming soon, I promise!

Anyway, Friday it started snowing.  At 10:00 pm I took this photo.  Nine inches of snow. 

I then took a photo at 10:45 pm and we were at 14 inches!  Five inches fell within 45 minutes!

I then said that I was going to take photos every hour.  By this point, I was so hopped up on caffeine that there was no way I could sleep.  I was going to stay up all night and ride this storm out and document it!

This was at midnight.  We are now at 17 inches and it's still coming down strong.

This was at 1:00 am.  We are at 18 1/2 inches now.

This beauty was taken at 2:00 am, I finally got smart and put some pants on.  As you can see it is up to my knees now.

Official count is 19 3/4 inches!

This was at 3:00 am, we are now at 22 inches.  As you can see, the snow is now over Mr. Bruises' bumper.

At nearly 4:00 am, I fell asleep on the floor with Travis.  I woke up at nearly 5:00 am, when the power went out.  Travis and I went to bed at that time.









I got up at 8:30 am and wanted to  video Travis and Riley's reaction to the snow.  I ended up videoing my own.  Sorry for the bad word, but it was a true reaction!

Final measurement at 8:30 am on Saturday was 25 1/4 inches.  Holy Bejesus!

This is the view from the carport.

You can't even see our steps!

So far, the only ones enjoying this snow are the dogs!

We're Home!

Well we are home. It was an awesome trip, I think that everyone should go on vacation to paradise for their birthday even if it is just once. Mr. Bruises and I have been considering doing our vacation every year at this time, instead of right after New Years.

Once I get through all of the Speedo footage and photos, I will be posting my Second Annual Mr. Speedo post. I have a funny feeling that the judges (me, myself and I) are going to award TWO crowns this year. We will see how the voting goes.

Some observations from this trip…..Americans are polite, maybe too polite. Everyday I was amazed by the rudeness of European people. They play chicken with you in all of the walkways. You have to give way, they never will. They push right in front of you in every buffet line, actually reaching in front of you and there is never an “Excuse me” or even a smile. They sit or stand close to you, scarily invading our personal space and proceed to have a conversation in their own language that is at least three decibels too loud. I am a loud person, believe me when I say, they make me sound like I am whispering.

I think the most appalling thing I saw was a grandmother and father, who brought a child to the pool with full-blown pink eye in both eyes. He had the tapioca pudding-looking goop running down his face. He was rubbing his eyes and miserable. Of course, he was touching things with those goop-covered hands. I wonder how many people unknowingly got pink eye from those inconsiderate guardians.

Mr. Bruises wants to do a cruise next year. We will see. He has a whole year to work on me. The thoughts of being herded like cattle once again and put into a room with a toilet that won’t flush and no one caring is not appealing to me what so ever.

I can’t wait to see the Golden Boys tonight. It’s been seven days since I was double spooned by golden fur. From what you all have been telling us about home, I am sure I will welcome the extra warmth because it’s going to be a real culture shock. This is especially true since I lost my jacket in the airport on the way in. I have my winter vest, but I don’t have any shirts with sleeves!

Vacation Halfway Mark

We are at the halfway mark on our vacation.  Stupidly, I only brought one book and I read it the first day I was here.  Our resort doesn't have the awesome book swap in the lobby that the Riu had, which is where we have stayed the last two times we were here.  We realized last night that we were next door.  So......Mr. Bruises and I infiltrated the Riu Resort and raided the book swap.  Not much to choose from but I do have a book to read now.

Mr. Speedo was out again today, sunning his buns.  I was quite impressed with the fact that he had a new color on today.  I think I just may have to give hime the Mr. Speedo crown just for that fact alone.

Here he is sunning his Buns of Steel that I am sure he could crack nuts with.

I swear to God that this lady is the neighbor from Something About Mary, you know, the one with the wrinkled up boobies that suns herself all the time.  Let me tell you, she doesn't look bad from behind, especially since she's got to be about 90, but be thankful that I didn't take a photo from the front.  Yowsa!

And look!  Hulk Hogan is here too!  Someone needs to tell him to "Just Say NO to Crack!"

Finally, these three drunk people demonstrate for you why you should never drink and play in the surf!

Punta Cana - Wednesday

Well, we have settled in.  We know our way around this ginormous resort.  It's been very relaxing so far.  I actually got some things made for my Etsy Shop today.

This is the tram that takes us to the beach and back every day.  It takes us no more time to get to the beach as it did for us to walk to the beach from our other resort.

The Speedos are out in full force.  I've been collecting photos and video for the Mr. Speedo Hell No 2010 pagent.  This dude here, doesn't actually look to bad, at least he is built fairly good.  He reminds me a lot of someone from home "facewise".  Anyone want to guess who?

Here is the back view.  I think he could use just a teensy bit more material back there, but again, at least he doesn't have the saggy ass like last year's winner.

Internet is working awesome.  It's so nice to sit out on our veranda in the morning and evening blogging or catching up with all of you at home.  I hear you got some snow!  For that, I truly am sorry.  I promise to TRY to bring some warm weather home with me.

We have our first Ala Cart dinner tonight.  We get three.  Usually we eat at the buffet, but you can eat at three specialty restaurants during your stay.  Mr. Bruises is over the moon because he gets to eat at the Japanese Steakhouse tonight.  This isn't something I would normally enjoy, but I am going to suck it up for it.

It's the least I could so since he was my Speedo decoy today.  I pretended to take a lot of photos of him today while photographing Speedos.  Here, he is totally oblivious of the awesomeness that just passed him.

Now, he has finally caught on.

Oh, what would I do without Speedos on vacation?

Punta Cana - We're here!

We have arrived at the Grand Bahia Principe in Punta Cana. This place is enormous. I will admit, we were both a little overwhelmed when we got here due to the size of the place. After getting a snack, Mr. Bruises went to an orientation and walked around while I took a much needed nap. I felt much better after he woke me up and he felt much better after getting a feel for the place and learning the lay of the land.


The beach is so far away, however, they do have these little trams that take you to an from the beach. We just need to get into our routine and we will be fine.

I swear, no matter where you stay, the food is the same. I predict that I will be living on the “P Diet” again this year: Pineapple, Pizza, Pasta, Pepsi and Pina Coladas. We did get reservations at the three restaurants that we wanted, turns out they already had us booked for the Italian and Mexican, so we added the Japanese Steakhouse.

This place is 10 steps up from the Riu Resorts where we have always stayed. It’s OMG luxurious. The bathroom is to die for and our room is huge. There is something going on everywhere. We have our own little mall. We don’t have the bar in our room with the liquor hanging upside down with dispensers, but that’s okay, because Mr. Bruises insisted on bringing his own huge bottle of coconut rum for us and I am glad that he did.

The little fridge only had two Pepsis, two waters and two beers in it. While searching for an ice machine, I found a closet and helped myself to a case of Pepsi. Hey, it’s free and I am just helping the maid out by not having to bring us stuff for our rum. You should have seen Mr. Bruises face when I walked in the room with it.

I am typing this without Internet. I am going tonight to rent the wireless card. I have to take the laptop with me and they install something on it and I will be able to use my laptop in the room, in the lobby and at the pools. I only need it for in the morning, when I blog and in the evening to check email and upload photos and videos. I am a little concerned that they may load something onto my computer that I don’t want on there, however, I feel that if they do, I will be able to remove it later and I really don’t keep anything personal on here like credit card numbers and such.

We are going to be off for our first beach adventure soon. I have the Flip Cam all charged up for the Mr. Speedo Hell No 2010 pageant.

And we're off!

Mr. Bruises and I are heading out for our annual vacation.  We are going to Punta Cana.  This will be our third trip there.  I am so ready to escape life and the wonderful Pennsylvania weather.

I should have Internet once there, so I hope to update daily as well as still keep uploading my Project365 photo a day photos.

Our house sitter and pet sitter will be taking care of things while we are gone, so don't get any funny ideas about looting our house while we are gone.  Tina and BFF Jill are holding down the fort at The Purple Pinkie as well.

I will be taking orders soon.  If you would like me to drink a Pina Colada for you, let me know and I will!

How I Almost Died Yesterday

I almost died yesterday, in the shower, because of a fingernail.  Yes, that fingernail pictured to the left.  My nails are remnants of a set that I got on vacation last month.  They are the "Edge" nail, which are very pointy and look like an upside down "V" when looking down the barrel of the nail, instead of the normal half circle shape.

Anyway, I was in the shower and was washing my face with cleanser.  All of a sudden, my pinkie finger, nail and all, was entirely up my one nostril.  I must have started making some odd noises, because Mr. Bruises heard me in the kitchen and asked what was up.  As he came running in, I told hime to get me a rag.  I guess in my brain stabbing, I didn't think to use my washcloth.  He opens the shower curtain to hand me the rag and he is all "Holy Shit, what the hell did you do?"  I explain what happened.  He is white and he leaves the room.

I proceed to have the worst nose bleed of my entire life.  Blood is running down the back of my throat and it is not only coming out of my nose, I can taste it and I am spitting it.  I am dizzy and woozy and finally realize to pinch my nose and tilt my head back.  Finally, the bleeding seems to stop, but my shower now looks like the one from Psycho.

I was fine until it was time to dry my hair.  I start blowing it dry upside down to give it volume.  My nose starts bleeding again.  So, I start pinching and tilting back again.  I realize I need to blow my nose.  You can't imagine the clots of blood that I blew out.  Holy mother of God.

I am happy to report that I blew my nose this morning and there wasn't even a hint of blood.  I can't, however, get the memory of my finger sliding up my nose and my nail nearly piercing my brain out of my head.  Funny thing.....when I posted about this on Facebook, no less than a dozen nail tech friends have had it happen as well!

So men, please don't underestimate your woman's fingernails.  They really can be a lethal weapon!

Happy New Year!

It's 2010!  Yeah!  Mr. Bruises and I celebrated last night with BFF Jill, Brandon and company at the Ford Cliff firehall.  We had lots of fun, especially with a baby and making fun of the redneck followers of the disc jockey.  We have video footage, so don't worry, you will get to enjoy it all right with us!

The boys were left home alone for the celebration.  Looks like they partied a little themselves!  Happy New Year!

The Christmas Blahs have set in..

Well, I've been doing so good this year. Usually my blahs come about three to four weeks before Christmas and climax with the holiday. This year, they didn't come. I blamed it on the unseasonably warm weather. Cold, snowy weather always makes me cranky, especially when I have static in my hair and my skin feels like it will itch itself off of my body.

Well, my blahs set in last night. Last night was the most joyless Christmas Eve I've ever had. It started out good. Riley went to work with me and we sold gift certificates. BFF Jill stopped and we swapped gifts. I got a Letang bobble head, Racing Nuns and a purple Snuggie. All three of those gifts made me smile and laugh in some way. Riley and I then headed to Kibuk Cycle Sales to see Mr. Bruises and crew and participate in their holiday party for the staff and customers. Everyone was jolly there as well.

Then came the downslide, I headed to the nursing home to visit my mom. We went to her room with her gifts and her name was no longer on the door. Her bed was empty. An aid saw my confusion and told me that they moved her. No explanation why. She proceeds to take me to a whole other unit and I find where my mom is. I walk in and she's having a breathing treatment and she doesn't look good. She seems confused when I ask her if she wants presents. She says no. I ask why and she says because she has nothing to give me. I explain that that is okay and we would really like to give her some presents.

I start to ask her when and why she moved. She said she moved about a week ago, while I was returning from vacation and in the midst of non-stop work for the Snowball and the holiday. I asked why and she said it was because she has an infected finger. She holds it up and it is disgusting. It wasn't even wrapped. I don't know if she has MRSA or what and no one could seem to tell me. It was Christmas Eve so I am going to look for answers on Monday.

First, I want to know why the hell no one told me that they moved her. I mean I am not only her only child, I am her POA for everything. Second, why the hell did no one inform me of her infected finger. I mean really, they call me when they change a dosage on one of her meds, which I could really give two shits about and something important like a move because of an infected finger, I get no call. Needless to say, I am pissed. Then, I get all depressed seeing my mom like that. Even worse than normal. That's when all the blahs hit me all at once.

We had a nice visit and Riley seemed to enjoy seeing her as much as she enjoyed seeing him. She opened her gifts, I got her two outfits, a new fleece blanket for dialysis and a big tin, filled with her favorite candy. Normally, she would have dug right into that candy. She smiled and thanked me and set it beside her bed.

We headed home after that and I started to immediately make the pie, dessert and cole slaw for dinner the next day. Mr. Bruises insists on having a full Thanksgiving dinner for Christmas. Why? Because his mother always did that. You know what? Nancy HATED doing that second dinner. How do I know? Because I was the one that always cooked with her. We both hated doing all that work again. Me especially since I just work my ass off non stop for weeks. So, last year I put my foot down and told him if he wanted it, he will cook it. Well that was a disaster last year. Looks like I will be doing most of the work this year as well.

All I wanted to do last night was eat a little, drink a little, watch The Hangover and play Rock Band. I sat alone until 10, when Tammy came down. Mr. Bruises came home from church about 30 minutes later. I am Catholic. I don't go to church, long story for another post. I have a big problem with people who go to church once a year and Mr. Bruises and his dad fall into that category. I take that back, they go twice a year. Christmas and Easter.

So we did get to watch the movie and it was awesome. I went to bed right after that. I was just physically and emotionally exhausted.

I know that I really should be happy with the things that I have, but sometimes it is just so hard to get past the things I no longer have and Christmas really brings it all back.

Merry Christmas everyone. Hug your loved ones and keep them close.

Punking Mr. Bruises

Last week, a client brought Max in to visit. The family brought the puppy home thinking it was a boy only to have the vet tell them, nearly a week later that it's a girl! They had been calling her Max and considered changing her name, but the youngest son was having nothing of it. So, meet Maxine!

She is such a cutie. She just snuggled in to my neck. When I went to give her some treats, the most amazing puppy breath ever came out of her mouth. Puppy breath is the best smell on Earth!

I thought I would get Mr. Bruises going, so I sent him the following photo in a text message and had the following text conversation with him:










Me: Your Christmas present was just delivered.
MB: Is that really ours?
Me: Yep
MB: You're kidding, right?
Me: Nope
MB: Girl?
Me: Yep
***long pause***
Me: She was just visiting, her name is Max, but you are lucky this time!
MB: You got my hopes up, Max is a dumb name for a girl.

I then had to explain the whole boy/girl mix up to him. His response surprised me. I didn't realize he would be open to another dog. I would love to have about three more, however, we would need to find other options for doggy sitting if we added another dog. Three dogs is a lot to ask someone to care for when you are on vacation.

You have to admit, she is a cutie!

The Birthday

Well, yesterday was Mr. Bruises' birthday. I threatened him that I would make him wear the "Birthday Cake Hat" if he wanted me to go to Disney with him. Well, I got him to put it on at the end of the day for a photo. Turns out he didn't need it.
When he went to collect his free ticket for his birthday, they gave him a Happy Birthday pin with his name one it. The cast member who wrote it even dotted his eye with a Mickey Mouse head. That pin was wonderful.

Throughout the day, cast members would say "Happy Birthday, Nick!" The first couple of times, he didn't realize they were talking to him. Then the guests started it. The security lady at our hotel was going to bust out and sing to him, but noticed that he was blushing just from the near mention of his special day, she decided not to torture him further.

We started the day at The Animal Kingdom. I know some are not fans of this park, but I am. I love animals and love learning about them. The decor of this park really makes you feel like you are actually in Asia or Africa. Expedition Everest was an awesome ride as was the Jungle Safari.

I absolutely loved their Christmas tree. It was all decked out in animal ornaments. This was, by far, my favorite tree at Disney.

We upgraded Mr. Bruises' ticket to a park hopper so that we could spend half of the day at Epcot. Now this is my least favorite park. I think it's too educational. I am on vacation. I want to be entertained. I did, however, enjoy the park. Soarin' was awesome!

We rode Spaceship Earth and there was a part where they took our photo and I goofed around during it. Little did I know that they would use it later for a video. It turned out hysterical mainly due to our facial expressions!


There was some really cool light and water shows going on all day. The trees were white, pink and purple.

We ate dinner at the Mexican restaurant in the world showcase. The chips and salsa were to die for. We ended the night at The Tambu Lounge at The Polynesian, where we had the greatest pina coladas ever made. Seriously. If you are ever at Disney World, go there and try them.

All in all, I think Mr. Bruises had a great birthday. The Asshole Parade that I had to endure was worth it to see him happy on his special day.

Magic Kingdom Day

We hung around the pool yesterday. I swear the Polynesian has bed bugs or I am allergic to something in the room. I was head to toe itchy yesterday and it is continuing this morning.

We went to The Magic Kingdom for Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party. We’ve attended it before, so we knew it was a good time. We got to enter the park three hours before the party started.

We had dinner at Tony's the restaurant from Lady and the Tramp. We got the famous spaghetti and meatballs and NO we didn't chew on the same strand ofd spaghetti.

The castle was lit up so pretty, they not only had lights on it, they changed the colors of it too. There were fireworks and two parades. Through the park were areas set up that you could get free cookies and hot chocolate. When we were leaving, it was snowing on Main Street!

The park was filled with assholes, as usual. We rode Pirates of the Caribbean with some old bastard that thought that he deserved one and a half of a seat portion to himself by spreading his legs so wide that Mr. Bruises and I had one and a half portion to share. He then had to talk loudly during the whole ride, screaming out things.

Then, during Donald’s Philharmonic 3D thingie, some bitch behind me sang EVERY single song AND she didn’t know the words. Loudly.

Then we encountered the Drunk Dad. We rode Small World with him first and he was yelling and pointing everything out to his toddler. We then got stuck on the Snow White ride with him. When he saw the dwarves for the first time he exclaimed “Look, there are the Elves!” I know it’s the holiday season, but come on!

Then during the parade, we encountered the Future Assholes, a group of tween girls that crowded themselves next to us. I sat there and watched them throw pieces of their turkey leg at people as they walked by. They then proceeded to flick the crowd control rope, so that it hit me in the face while I sat. After three times, I gave the brat the look of death. All the while, the parents just let them go.

I’ve come to the conclusion that people are just rude. I thought it was just the foreigners at Disney, but there are very few here this time. If you don’t give way when encountering someone, you will find yourself playing chicken with a baby stroller. People smack into you and never even acknowledge that they did it. THIS is what I hate about Disney. I love the rides, the ambiance, everything. I just hate the rude people.

Today is Mr. Bruises birthday and we are heading to Animal Kingdom. It’s been a great day so far, I slept all night. I think the assholes next door left! Let’s hope that all the assholes went home!