How I Almost Died Yesterday

I almost died yesterday, in the shower, because of a fingernail.  Yes, that fingernail pictured to the left.  My nails are remnants of a set that I got on vacation last month.  They are the "Edge" nail, which are very pointy and look like an upside down "V" when looking down the barrel of the nail, instead of the normal half circle shape.

Anyway, I was in the shower and was washing my face with cleanser.  All of a sudden, my pinkie finger, nail and all, was entirely up my one nostril.  I must have started making some odd noises, because Mr. Bruises heard me in the kitchen and asked what was up.  As he came running in, I told hime to get me a rag.  I guess in my brain stabbing, I didn't think to use my washcloth.  He opens the shower curtain to hand me the rag and he is all "Holy Shit, what the hell did you do?"  I explain what happened.  He is white and he leaves the room.

I proceed to have the worst nose bleed of my entire life.  Blood is running down the back of my throat and it is not only coming out of my nose, I can taste it and I am spitting it.  I am dizzy and woozy and finally realize to pinch my nose and tilt my head back.  Finally, the bleeding seems to stop, but my shower now looks like the one from Psycho.

I was fine until it was time to dry my hair.  I start blowing it dry upside down to give it volume.  My nose starts bleeding again.  So, I start pinching and tilting back again.  I realize I need to blow my nose.  You can't imagine the clots of blood that I blew out.  Holy mother of God.

I am happy to report that I blew my nose this morning and there wasn't even a hint of blood.  I can't, however, get the memory of my finger sliding up my nose and my nail nearly piercing my brain out of my head.  Funny thing.....when I posted about this on Facebook, no less than a dozen nail tech friends have had it happen as well!

So men, please don't underestimate your woman's fingernails.  They really can be a lethal weapon!