Giving Thanks

So today is Thanksgiving.  So many people are giving thanks to all the things they are thankful.  Today, I woke up, not really thankful for anything.  To me, this has been one of the worst years of my life.  I blame it totally on the fact that I didn't eat pork and sauerkraut on New Year's Day.  I will not be making that stupid mistake again.

I mean seriously.  2010 has brought me a lot of heartache and sadless.  I had to fire not one but two employees this year.  I am still trying to reach around to remove the giant butcher knives that were stabbed deep into my back.  I've had more than my share of run-ins with the nursing home and the IRS concerning my mother.  My mother died.  I got jacked around by an attorney for seven months and finally got things straigtened out.  My sweet little Chip died.

After thinking of all of this, and feeling sorry for myself, I realized, it's really not that much.  Yes, I lost my mom, but there are so many others that are having a much shittier year.  So I decided to pull up my big girl panties and think of all that I am thankful for.

I am thankful that I have the most amazing dogs that have the ability to make me feel better just by looking at them.  I am thankful for a best friend that just seriously gets me.  Despite an 11 year age difference, we are so alike and in tune, it's scarey.  I am thankful for my Aunts Robin and BJ.  I can always see my mother's face in Aunt Robin's eyes and hear a smidge of mom's voice in hers. 

I am thankful for a job that allows me to laugh, be creative and have fun.  I am thankful to work with two of the best gals that anyone could ask for.  They are loyal, they are hard workers and most of all, they put up with my menopausal mood swings.  They deserve an award for that alone.

I bet you thought that I was going to forget Mr. Bruises.  I am thankful for him.  He annoys the ever, loving shit out of me a great deal of the time, but what husband doesn't do that?  I am thankful that he lets me live my life and doesn't try to control me like other husbands.  He puts up with my love of animals and my borderline hoarding habits.  In turn, I put up with Glenn Beck and Fox News.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.  Be thankful for what you have instead of feeling bad about what you don't have.

Friendship

Friendship. Loyatly. Trust. Those all go hand in hand. I am a very loyal friend and I like to think that I am trustworthy as well. If I am your friend, I will defend you to the death. I have many people, in my life that I consider friends. Some are a different level of friends, like BFF Jill, she's my ultimate friend. She is who I would call if I was dying. She is who I vent to. She is who I could tell my deepest, darkest secret to and I know that she would never sell me out. She also, is who would help me bury a body if needed. Just kidding, just wanted to make sure you were reading and not skimming.

When you betray my friendship. That's it. Game over. There really are no second chances. If you don't have loyalty or trust, then you don't have friendship.

There was a person in my life, previously, who I considered a good friend. Well that friendship was betrayed. There was lying. There was deceipt. There was a lot of other stuff. I severed the relationship, however, I still wanted to be amicable. I had every intention of wanting the friendship to end "friendly". No, she was no longer in my "Circle of Trust" but I didn't want hard feelings and I didn't want animosity. Life is too short.

As months went on, I started hearing the absurd things that she was saying about me. Accusing me of doing such stupid stuff that is so trivial. My life doesn't revolve around getting revenge, holding grudges, etc. She assumed it did. She assumed a lot of things and she talked about it. Lots. Well, I know a lot of people and lets just say, everything ever said about me, came back to me.

Recently, she told someone that she feels bad how things went down between us and said we just don't get along now. Well, who's fault is that? I did everything I could to make things end friendly.

So, when you look around, and you realize that you have no friends. Not one girlfriend, maybe you will realize that you had a true friend at one time. Someone who remembered your birthday. Sent you flowers. Brought you things back from trips. Listened to your problems, gave you advice.  What do you have now? That's what I thought.

I, am blessed with a lot of wonderful ladies in my life that I consider true friends. The vast amount of close frienships that I have is all the proof to me that I know how to be a true friend. A loyal friend. A trustworthy friend. Some could learn from our friendships.

Pittbsurgh Zoo with Dawson!

In the summer months, BFF Jill has Dawson every Monday.  Sometimes, I get invited to go do fun things with them.  Yesterday, we all went to The Pittsburgh Zoo. 

We had a ball!!!

The lion was in rare form, he was very vocal!

It seemed as though everyone was feeling lovey dovey at the zoo.  The monkeys were monkeying around.....

The penguins were in love......

And the otters were just a cuddling away!

It was too hot for the Kodiak bear, he was napping.

One of the baby elephants was out and was getting frisky with a log!

The baby giraffe was out and we got to see one of the amazing adults.

The aquarium was amazing as usual.  I think it's my favorite part!

This little beaver was carrying two pieces of wood for his dam, he was a worker!

The seals are always entertaining.  This mouthy one bent his head backwards over the water spray!

BFF Jill got up close and personal with Monty the Python, part of the animal education team.

All in all, it was an awesome day and I think we wore Dawson out.  Just look at that Slurpee smile!

Real Men Knit!

BFF Jill and Rhonda were out shopping today and they encountered a couple of male aspiring knitters.

And we're off!

Mr. Bruises and I are heading out for our annual vacation.  We are going to Punta Cana.  This will be our third trip there.  I am so ready to escape life and the wonderful Pennsylvania weather.

I should have Internet once there, so I hope to update daily as well as still keep uploading my Project365 photo a day photos.

Our house sitter and pet sitter will be taking care of things while we are gone, so don't get any funny ideas about looting our house while we are gone.  Tina and BFF Jill are holding down the fort at The Purple Pinkie as well.

I will be taking orders soon.  If you would like me to drink a Pina Colada for you, let me know and I will!

Dumpster Diving 2010

BFF Jill and I went Dumpster Diving yesterday.  You will remember the first time that we went, we scored big.  We scored pretty good yesterday, not quite as good as the last time, but still good.  We filmed the whole fiasco this time.  Just listening to our banter makes me realize why I love this girl!  Enjoy!

Heather's Wedding

BFF Jill and I drove to Big Run, PA for Heather and Stan’s wedding, this past Saturday. Thank goodness we took Jill’s Jeep because we needed the four wheel drive. It was snowing like crazy.

We stopped in Punxsutawney, on the way, and went and saw Phil and Phyllis. They were all curled up in a ball, nice and snuggly, oblivious to the 19 degrees that it was outside. I got some stares, wearing a party dress, with a winter coat and purple UGG boots, but hey, I like to cause a scene.

So, once we are at the wedding, it is apparent that we are over dressed. Some came in jeans, flannels and camo hats. BFF Jill and I were apparently high-falutin, city folk in Jefferson County.

The highlight of the wedding reception was the fire sirens going off. Doesn’t that happen at EVERY reception? We just sat back and watched all the firemen either chug their beer or take them with them as they rushed out of the door.

I guess they need to change the sign now, huh?

It was a beautiful wedding and reception and we wish Heather and Stan a life time of happiness!

Happy New Year!

It's 2010!  Yeah!  Mr. Bruises and I celebrated last night with BFF Jill, Brandon and company at the Ford Cliff firehall.  We had lots of fun, especially with a baby and making fun of the redneck followers of the disc jockey.  We have video footage, so don't worry, you will get to enjoy it all right with us!

The boys were left home alone for the celebration.  Looks like they partied a little themselves!  Happy New Year!

Final Dumb Ass Award of 2009

I haven't handed out a Dumbass of the Week award (DAOTW) in awhile.   I am pleased to announce that I have found a final recipient of the award for 2009!  While standing in line at Wal-Mart, the jackass in front of me, who was from out of town (he had the thickest southern drawl I've ever heard), started pitching a royal fit because the WalMart clerk, who was helping the cashier ticked him off.  Why you ask?  Well it seems that fat ass - jackass expected the clerk to put his big ass bag of rock salt in his cart for him.  The problem with this scenario?  The clerk has ONE ARM!

Seriously.  You want a one armed man to pick up a 20 pound pag of rock salt and heave it into your cart?  BFF Jill said that I should have kicked him in the knee then said "Now go run a marathon".  I wish I would have thought of that.

Congratulations fat ass - jackass, you are the final Dumbass of the Week for 2009!  Now go the hell back to wherever you came from and everyone, when in WalMart and you see Art, tell him what a great job he's doing.  Got to give the guy credit, he could be sitting at home on his ass collecting disability, but no.  He is employed and has to put up with jackasses like this!  Way to go Art!

Putting the Flip to good use

Yesterday, BFF Jill, her brother in law, Brian and I took the Flip Cam out into the snow and filmed his audition video for Survivor.  We decided that his angle should be that Ford City needs a better representative on Survivor than one we had in the past.  We came up with our shots and headed out!  We had a blast filming this!  I hope Brian makes the cut!

The Christmas Blahs have set in..

Well, I've been doing so good this year. Usually my blahs come about three to four weeks before Christmas and climax with the holiday. This year, they didn't come. I blamed it on the unseasonably warm weather. Cold, snowy weather always makes me cranky, especially when I have static in my hair and my skin feels like it will itch itself off of my body.

Well, my blahs set in last night. Last night was the most joyless Christmas Eve I've ever had. It started out good. Riley went to work with me and we sold gift certificates. BFF Jill stopped and we swapped gifts. I got a Letang bobble head, Racing Nuns and a purple Snuggie. All three of those gifts made me smile and laugh in some way. Riley and I then headed to Kibuk Cycle Sales to see Mr. Bruises and crew and participate in their holiday party for the staff and customers. Everyone was jolly there as well.

Then came the downslide, I headed to the nursing home to visit my mom. We went to her room with her gifts and her name was no longer on the door. Her bed was empty. An aid saw my confusion and told me that they moved her. No explanation why. She proceeds to take me to a whole other unit and I find where my mom is. I walk in and she's having a breathing treatment and she doesn't look good. She seems confused when I ask her if she wants presents. She says no. I ask why and she says because she has nothing to give me. I explain that that is okay and we would really like to give her some presents.

I start to ask her when and why she moved. She said she moved about a week ago, while I was returning from vacation and in the midst of non-stop work for the Snowball and the holiday. I asked why and she said it was because she has an infected finger. She holds it up and it is disgusting. It wasn't even wrapped. I don't know if she has MRSA or what and no one could seem to tell me. It was Christmas Eve so I am going to look for answers on Monday.

First, I want to know why the hell no one told me that they moved her. I mean I am not only her only child, I am her POA for everything. Second, why the hell did no one inform me of her infected finger. I mean really, they call me when they change a dosage on one of her meds, which I could really give two shits about and something important like a move because of an infected finger, I get no call. Needless to say, I am pissed. Then, I get all depressed seeing my mom like that. Even worse than normal. That's when all the blahs hit me all at once.

We had a nice visit and Riley seemed to enjoy seeing her as much as she enjoyed seeing him. She opened her gifts, I got her two outfits, a new fleece blanket for dialysis and a big tin, filled with her favorite candy. Normally, she would have dug right into that candy. She smiled and thanked me and set it beside her bed.

We headed home after that and I started to immediately make the pie, dessert and cole slaw for dinner the next day. Mr. Bruises insists on having a full Thanksgiving dinner for Christmas. Why? Because his mother always did that. You know what? Nancy HATED doing that second dinner. How do I know? Because I was the one that always cooked with her. We both hated doing all that work again. Me especially since I just work my ass off non stop for weeks. So, last year I put my foot down and told him if he wanted it, he will cook it. Well that was a disaster last year. Looks like I will be doing most of the work this year as well.

All I wanted to do last night was eat a little, drink a little, watch The Hangover and play Rock Band. I sat alone until 10, when Tammy came down. Mr. Bruises came home from church about 30 minutes later. I am Catholic. I don't go to church, long story for another post. I have a big problem with people who go to church once a year and Mr. Bruises and his dad fall into that category. I take that back, they go twice a year. Christmas and Easter.

So we did get to watch the movie and it was awesome. I went to bed right after that. I was just physically and emotionally exhausted.

I know that I really should be happy with the things that I have, but sometimes it is just so hard to get past the things I no longer have and Christmas really brings it all back.

Merry Christmas everyone. Hug your loved ones and keep them close.

Shopping with the BFF

Sunday, we had The Purple Pinkie Christmas lunch at The Olive Garden. I am truly blessed with the people I work with and I am very thankful for them. I am also thankful that BFF Jill was able too step right up and jump in and help us fill in some gaps that were left from Kylie going to Florida for three months. After lunch and cocktails, BFF Jill and I hit the mall. I didn't need anything, my shopping and wrapping has been finished for weeks. I went to help BFF Jill spend her money.

We went into Dick's and this is the sight that we saw. Way too many people, spending way to much money in what we are told is a recession. Before any of you get your panties in a wad, let me tell you, almost everyone was paying with CASH. Lots of cash.

When we arrived at the mall, I went to pull into a parking space, after circling the mall for nearly 10 minutes looking for one. A man jumped out at me and told me I couldn't park there. What? I was ready to rumble with him. I asked why and was told that people were parking three deep and he was parked in and needed to get out from that space. I told him I would sit there until he was able to pull out so that I could have that spot.

What the Asshat didn't realize, is that people didn't park him, and the others in, those Asshats, parked in the MIDDLE of the lane, then the others just followed the parking lines. Seriously. You can't just make your own parking space. You deserve to be parked in. When we left, hours later, there were still people parked in.

So, we have people paying in cash. We have to drive in circles for a parking place. People are making their own parking spaces and parking three deep, but we are in a recession? I think not. I think people need to stop buying into all the bullshit the media, is shoving down our throat.

One thing is for certain, even Santa needs to pee sometime! Can you imagine being a kid in the potty and the big guy walks in! I think a hidden camera needs to be set up!

Happiest Place on Earth?

Really? For being in/near The Happiest Place on Earth, I am not too pleased, let alone happy. First, Disney is a money, grubbing whore. Mr. Bruises is paying an INSANE amount of money to stay at The Polynesian. Even though the daily rate is MORE than some people pay for rent at home, we still have to pay for Internet service. WOW, the Comfort Inn next door is $59 a night, free WI-FI and free shuttle to all Disney Parks. Why are we staying here again?

Next was our neighbors. We knew we were in trouble when we had the room next to the strollers and yes, that is plural. Listen, I don't hate kids, I actually love them. I have two nieces and a nephew and three great nephews and one great niece. I do, however, HATE unruly kids with no parenting. Our neighbors qualify. At 4:00 am it started. The blood-curdling screaming. The kicking of the walls. The opening and slamming of inner and outer doors. I actually heard someone bang on their door. Still, it continued until 5:30. An hour and a half of that bullshit.

At one point, I was going to bang on their door as well. I yanked the door open, in my jammies, only to be greeted with the father, staring right by my door, fully dressed. I stood there, with that squinty eye that I get when I am really pissed and just stared him down, then slammed the door. I really don't have time for inconsiderate people.

I sure hope I don't have two more days of this bullshit. I have a hotel phone and I am not afraid to use it. We will be having words if it happens again. I may even have to inform those little monsters that there IS NO SANTA!

Anywhoo I am going to try to not let this ruin my trip. This and a few other reasons are why I can't stand Disney World, but it's for Mr. Bruises birthday, I will try to block it all out.

We ate at the Hard Rock last night and OMG Weezie, our waiter from when we were there in January was there! I instantly sent a text to BFF Jill, Amanda and Lynn. I almost immediately got responses:

BFF Jill: Shut UP!

Amanda: Shut your mouth!

Lynn: From the Jeffersons?

I literally LOL'd at Lynn. Yes she is blonde, but she is a SMART ONE! So I replied to her:

Rhonda: No our waiter from the Hard Rock. Wait.....that's right, you were drunk, with your head on the table!

(True fact, please see photographic evidence!)

Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party tonight!

Last day on Sanibel

We spent our last full day on Sanibel by heading to Captiva. We spent the day at the beach, then had dinner at the Key Lime Bistro. We had pina coladas there the day before. That was the best meal of the trip.

We then walked down to The Bubble Room for dessert. I plan to do a whole post on The bubble room when I get home, because that place deserves it. I took a ton of photos. As you can see, the desserts here are BIG!

I had the White Christmas, which was a white cake, with coconut and white chocolate shavings.

I made sure I got a close up of the Red Velvet cake for BFF Jill.

George and Donna took advantage of The Tunnel of Love.

Final review, we LOVE Sanibel and will most definitely return. George and Donna are on their way home today and Mr. Bruises and I are now heading to Orlando to Disney World for his birthday until Thursday!

Mr. Bruises is BRAVE!

The last week of October, Mr. Bruises came home from Fantastic Sams. I took one look at him and told him to turn around. I couldn't believe my eyes. He had a two inch tan line on his neck. The stupid bitch that cut his hair cut into his hair line 2 freaking inches! Look at him, he looks like an Amish man!

I decided then and there, that I was going to start cutting his hair. I am a nail tech, I don't do hair, however, I can do a hell of a lot better than Fantastic Sams Stupid Bitch. So, I had BFF Jill help me pick out some clippers, scissors and supplies.

About three weeks ago, I did trim "half" of what had grown in, so that he didn't have 2 inches of fuzzy on his neck, he only had one inch. Tonight, I decided that it was time to tackle cutting his hair. I conferred with BFF Jill on the phone and watched a couple of YouTube videos. I finally decided to just go for it.

Here, you can see what it looked like before I started cutting. You can see the old hair line had grown in some and the remaining one inch of fuzzy had grown in some too. Now, it was time to try to blend it all.

This is what we ended up with. It is almost all blended in. It's not perfect, but I think it looks pretty good. Mr. Bruises was happy with it as well. I may be a nail technician, and not a hair magician, but I am so not a stupid bitch and I don't work at Fantastic Sams. Just call me Fantastic Fonda!

I'm a Big Girl Now

The photo shows a keychain that BFF Jill gave me this summer. Yes, sometimes I laugh until I pee my pants. This was always a joke with the GNO girls too. When we went on our trips the saying was "It isn't a GNO trip unless someone throws up, pees their pants or does both". Usually that someone was me.

I've realized for sometime now that there was a problem. Usually it was laughing too hard or when I was sick and really coughing. It would almost always end with me peeing my pants. Thinking back, I've realized that this has been going on for at least 7 years, probably longer. It has, however, gotten bad.

The "rock bottom" point for me was the night that we celebrated Becky's birthday a few months ago. I don't drink that much and we really were getting our drink on that night. Then. The drinking games began. I knew better. Tequila and I are not friends, we don't get along. We may have been in a relationship before, but I not only broke up with Tequila, I have a PFA out against Tequila. Well, I gave into peer pressure that night and let Tequila back in my bed. MISTAKE.

The night ended with me puking my guts out on Fifth Avenue, in front of Becky's house. Each and every time I retched, I peed my pants. I had no control. Puke, pee. Puke, pee. On and on. I kid you not, every inch of my pants were soaking wet when I was finished. How embarrassing. Well, I didn't give one rat's ass at the time, I was drunk. BFF Jill's husband drove us home, with me in the backseat, sitting on a garbage bag.

When I woke up the next morning from my Tequila coma, first, I had the PFA reissued. I then decided that I was going to have this little problem taken care of once and for all. I am 42, I am way to young for Depends and even Poise pads. So, I made an appointment.

I have my surgery today for a Transobturator Sling Procedure . It is a minimally invasive procedure and I should be able to be back to life and work by Wednesday. I have to hang out and do nothing tomorrow just because of the anesthetic.

I will be totally healed in four weeks. That puts us right around New Year's Eve. I think maybe we may have to all go out, get our drink on again and test this bugger out. I am not a big fan of puking, but I am looking forward to puking for the first time without peeing my pants!

New Co-Worker

We have a new face at The Purple Pinkie! BFF Jill has agreed to help us out for the holiday season! Kylie had an opportunity to spend the next three months in Fort Myers, FL and jumped on it faster than a slut jumps on some one's steady boyfriend on prom night.

For those of you who have been asking how Kylie is, she is awesome. She found a job at a restaurant/bar on the beach called The Cottage. If you are going to be in Fort Myers, like I will be in three weeks, make sure you look her up. I am sure she is longing for some familiar faces right now since it's been three weeks since she's been there.

BFF Jill completed her first week at the PP and we kept her busy. For those of you who may not know, BFF Jill is a full cosmetologist and owns her own salon, Bernot Beauty in Ford City. It used to be her grandfather's barber shop, but after she graduated from high school and beauty school, she worked side by side with him, learning the barber trade from him. When he retired, she took it over and it now caters to BOTH sexes and is decorated floor to ceiling with vintage hats.

It's going to be fun, working side by side with my BFF. I can only hope I don't pee my pants from laughing all day. I have until the 30th, when surgery will hopefully finally kick that little problem to the curb.

Happy Birthday, John B. Ford!

Yesterday was Captain John B. Ford's 198th birthday! John founded Ford City, the wonderful town that I have lived my entire life in. BFF Jill and I celebrated his birthday, at the statue in the Ford City Park.















We had Red Velvet cupcakes and party hats. Boy, I am sure we put on a good show, trying to get that stupid hat on his head. Listen, I was standing on the TOP RAIL of a step stool, with the party hat taped to the end of a broom handle. Two attempts from behind were failed because, even though the hat was on his head, you could not see it from the front. Finally, after attempting from the front, we got it right.


Happy Birthday John!