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They are long. Bring your own chair, like Mr. Bruises!

The List of Five

I was an avid Friends fan. One of my favorite concepts from this show was the List of Five and my friends and I have had a list ever since. We've had some fun times adding people. We've also had fun demoting people. I remember when Mel Gibson got the boot after his DUI arrest and that awful mugshot.

The basic idea of the list is that you can make a list of five celebrities that given the chance of a hook up, you got the okay to go for it from your significant other. Obviously, there is usually no chance in hell the situation will ever come up.

Anywhoo, it has come to my attention, that my list hasn't been updated in awhile. Since it is spring, I am spring cleaning my list. Some are new, some have moved up or down the ladder, but here is my current list.

5 - Patrick Dempsey - I think it's his eyes or maybe his scruffiness.



















4 - Johnny Depp - It's the dark side, the bad boy, the dirty boy.



















3 - Johhny Reznik - I'll admit, it's the hair.

2 - Jon Bon Jovi - Jon has been on the list since the beginning, however, he has been dethroned.

1 - Lenny Kravitz - Lenny earned the top position on the list a few years ago after "the dream". I've always been a fan of his music and thought the man just oozed sex. But the morning I woke up after having "the dream", I was like, "WOW, Lenny!"

So, who is on your list?

Another Year

Today is my mother's birthday. I am trying very hard to not be sad or melancholy today. I just miss the woman that she used to be. Some days, it's like a stranger is sitting there with me.

Before my mom had her health problems, she was me times ten. She was loud, funny, the center of attention, the life of the party. It pains me to see her quiet, meek, timid and non-social. This woman was social butterfly of the year. Now she barely interacts with anyone. I am lucky if we have a conversation when I visit weekly.

I wanted to make her birthday special, like I always have. I can remember the years, where we had the balloon wars. I filled her entire car with balloons on her birthday and she paid me back by filling the entire shower with them on mine.

This year, I struggled with coming up with a gift to give her. I walked around aimlessly for hours. It's hard to find a meaningful gift for someone that has no ambition in life, no interests, no real joy. I finally settled on a digital photo key chain and loaded it up with photos of good memories. I chose that over a frame so that she could hold it, touch it. I also got her some peanut butter eggs and purple peeps, which are her favorites this time of year.

So, in a few hours, I will head to the nursing home to visit her today, her special day. I will do my best to be cheerful, positive and upbeat even though I am crying inside, missing my mom more than ever.

Camilla and DQ

People ask me all of the time if I have ridden in Camilla yet. Well, the answer is yes. I rode in her for the first time, back in October, when I was at a wedding and Mr. Bruises picked me up and drove us the to the end of the year SCDD banquet. I didn't write about it because A: I was too tipsy to give a crap that I was in her and B: I didn't have photos.

Last night, I rode in her for the second time. I am still shocked as hell at the ginormous speedometer that is in the middle of the freaking dashboard. I would hate driving that thing and having to look at the dashboard to see how fast I am going. I know, it's a rally car, yadda, yadda, yadda and it has another very small speedometer in the normal space, blah, blah, blah, I still think it looks silly. I feel like I am in a submarine when I am in her.

Now Mr. Bruises is threatening to get a "sister" for her, a convertible. Bring it on Bruises. Remember our last deal? I get a golden retriever for every car you own. Right now, I am owed two, three if you count the white truck and four if you get another Camilla wannabe. I will gladly have a gaggle of goldens!

Fast Times at Derby High

Tomorrow is my first bout with the B-Unit! We are taking on the Coal City Rollers from Wilkes Barre and The Steel Hurtin' will be playing the Long Island Roller Rebels. In honor of this GLORIOUS occasion, I took my mouthguard and made it into a grill. It's amazing what you can do with nail polish and nail art materials!

Get your tickets at www.steelcityderbydemons.com for $10 or from any derby girl while we still have them. Tickets are $15 at the door. Children 10 and under are free, so bring the kiddies for a FUN family night!

Kongs!

My boys love their Kongs. They love them empty and they especially love them with peanut butter in them. They will stay busy for hours with a PB Kong.

Travis arrived at our house with his own, smaller blue Kong. About six months later, we couldn't find it. I searched everywhere. I figured he took it outside and another dog snatched it. Well, I moved the bed last weekend to look for something and I found it under the bed, under the head board! Travis hasn't let it out of his site yet!

Kongs - make for happy dogs!

Spring Cleaning

Yesterday was gorgeous. One chore I really hate is cleaning the pond every spring. I used to winterize my little pond, when I had fish in it, but that only lasted one winter. After that, the fish came in the house for the winter and never went back. Each spring, now, I am left with a pond that is full of rotting leaves, which smell horrible when you take them out.

I usually start by netting the leaves out of the pond onto a garbage bag. I then use the pump to pump the water out.
I then retrieve all of the rocks that have fallen. I then add fresh water, and flush the pond out again. Then it is time to fill it up for good!

It takes about a day for the water to settle and clear totally. The boys are always interested in the pond. I think they like to hear the water trickle.



















My little garden oasis is well on it's way to spring. I will spend a lot of time out here in the spring and summer months.

Spring Fever!

We've all got it, especially the boys. I had the door open yesterday and some of the windows. This was the typical view I had. Two golden butts facing the screen door. Mr. Bruises ended up taking them, not only for a walk, but they got to go for a ride in the car to the cycle shop. They were two happy goldens yesterday! Spring! Bring it on!

St. Patrick's Day Parade

I got up at the buttcrack of dawn, to get ready and packed for the trek into Pittsburgh for the St. Patrick's Day Parade yesterday. Last year, I didn't make the parade, since I was to meet my team in the Southside and couldn't get there due to all the street closings. After being yelled at by every single police officer in Pittsburgh, I went home. I was sad.

This year, I prepared ahead of time. I planned to meet at Pinky D's house in Lawrenceville and take the bus. I've never ridden a public bus in Pittsburgh. Again, I was scared. Scared that I wouldn't be able to find the bus home to get to my car to get home. We lucked out and Pinky's man gave us a ride to the parade, we just had to ride the bus home.

This was mad fun!! While waiting for our time to step off, we mingled. We met the Pittsburgh Passion girls. I've been dying to get to a game and they were nice enough to give me a schedule. We mingled with the Shriner's clowns, who took lots of photos of us!
We also met some unique characters, like the Banana and the Gorilla, who were part of the Terrible Trailer!




















We brought Stanley's Leg with us. It was a beautiful moment when the Turkey Leg and Stanley's Leg met. I could almost hear the bow-chicka-bow-bow music.

Finally it was time for us to step off. You know when you park in the upper lot of the Mellon Arena? Well, we had to skate down that hill. Holy Bejesus! It's a hill, add potholes, manholes, stones, cobblestones, llama poo, horse poo and the dreaded candy and you've got yourself a dangerous combination. At one point, a butterscotch candy nearly ended my life. I didn't fall, but I can really close! Thank goodness for the few walkers that held my hand and helped me through some tough spots. Thanks Pinky, Unsafe Tex and Buck Hughes!

All in all the crowd was awesome, so much green.







Of course, you had to have your hecklers. This was the crew that promised to give us beads if we "Showed a taco". Seriously, they yelled that.







Well Pinky got beads just for looking cute!

McShovin' was getting the lovin'. I heard no less that THREE marriage proposals!

There were supposed to be a lot of locals at the parade, however, I only heard someone yell my name once! It was Rose Valasek from Ford City, who was at the parade with her husband.

This was so much fun! I can't wait to do it again. I think we may skate in the Pride Parade and I am really looking forward to that one.

Pinky made sure I got on the right bus, so I made it home safe and sound and I didn't get yelled at by any police officers this year.

Who's ready for St. Patrick's Day?!?

Jill is! Well, so am I! I am skating in the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Pittsburgh tomorrow with other Steel City Derby Demons. If you are going to the parade, look for us! Cheer for us!

As for Jill, St. Patrick's day is her birthday! Hop on over to her blog and wish her a Happy Birthday!

The Purple Potty

A lot of people have mentioned that I have never featured the salon bathroom on The Bathroom Tour. We affectionately call it The Purple Potty. This is because it is inside of The Purple Pinkie. There are some accents in purple, but for the most part, it is a normal looking bathroom.




































I recently got a gift from a friend. It's a large, poster, photo-collage of photos of me being Fonda Bruises. It is awesome! I put it in The Purple Potty behind the door. This is the view when you are sitting on the throne.

Travis works out!

I recently moved my dumb bells from a position that was high, to on the floor, in front of my elliptical machine. I kept noticing that they were moved, slightly each day. I awoke this morning to them in the middle of the living room floor, placed right next to doggie toys. Hmmmmmmm.

My suspicions were confirmed when Travis started playing with them. Anything on the floor is "HIS", so I guess he thought these were new toys for him!

We've got spirit, yes we do!

On Friday, while at the salon, I looked across the street and noticed a big tour bus parked there. I got all excited thinking that maybe it was one of the Rock of Love tour buses. I quickly realized that it was neither pink, nor blue and didn't have Bret Michael's face all over it. I then noticed that it was full of cheerleaders.

After my client and I made up stories about why the bus was pulled over, I had to take a photo. I then had the insane urge to go outside, assume the position on my side of the road and cheer:

We've got spirit, yes we do, we got spirit, how about
you?!?

Do you think they would have answered?

I have smart dogs - Part Two!

Riley and I have always done a little thing called Tricks for Treats. He performs a little routine of tricks and gets rewarded with yummy cookies! When Travis came along, he kind of cramped his style. Travis wanted all the treats. So, I've been working on a little routine that they can do together. Travis still needs to attend practice! It's amazing what you can get a dog to do for a cookie!

Guess who slept in?

No, not me, Travis, my alarm clock, gets me up at 7:00 am! Riley slept in. See, our routine is: Travis gets me up, I let both boys out. I then feed them their breakfast. Riley then goes back to bed with Daddy and Travis and I hang out on the Internet, checking our email, Facebook and update this blog. When it's time for Daddy to get up, Riley usually gets up with him. Lately, he's been lazy and staying in bed.

He stays until he hears breakfast being made in the kitchen. He then is up and all about the begging!

Furry visitors to The Purple Pinkie!

We get lots of doggie visitors at The Purple Pinkie. I keep saying that I need to get a cookie jar and fill it with doggie treats for all of our guests. I also need to start getting photos with all of them. I started with one of those goals yesterday. We had two furry visitors!

This is Marley, he is the newest member of the Turek family. He came to visit me one day, but I had already left for derby practice. I had to settle for a cell phone photo of his visit. He came yesterday and is a little spitfire of energy at four months old.











This is Bandit, Kim Fox's PBGB. Don't ask me to tell you what that stands for, I screw it up every time. I even practiced yesterday. Bandit is a regular visitor. To me, a PBGP looks like what you would get if an old English sheepdog and a basset hound had a baby!

Stay tuned for future guest photos! I really need to get a photo of Daisy the Yorkie. She's been visiting The Purple Pinkie the longest, with her little pink sweaters!

Lawrenceville Treasures

Recently, Jill and I made a trip to The Strip District. We stopped in Lawrenceville at a few places. We parked our car in front of this gem of a home made soap store. We fell in love with the window display.


First of all, her nails are PURPLE! Second, look how the duck is wearing matching blinged out glasses! Hysterical!
We made our way to Crystal Bead Bazaar, the main reason for our stop. I was introduced to the wonderful craft of beading.

Fourteen dollars and change added to 15 minutes of time and I crafted this beautiful necklace!


I've been wanting to stop at Dozen for some time now. Every time I have been passed though, it's been closed. It was open that day!




















I enjoyed a very yummy St. Patrick's themed cupcake, while Mr. Bruises was treated to a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing. Next time, I am getting one of those gigantic, awesome looking cinnamon rolls!

It was a great day and I saw a lot of other little shops in Lawrenceville that I would like to visit next time!

Pittsburgh Zoo

I've only went to The Pittsburgh Zoo in the summer. Someone made the suggestion to go on a nice, winter day. A couple of weeks ago, we had a beautiful Sunday, so Mr. Bruises, Tammy and I hit the zoo and it was nice. Not as crowded as it is in the summer.

We were afraid that we wouldn't see many of the outdoor animals since it was still chilly. We were surprised to see almost all except for the zebras and giraffes. They have heated rocks for the animals.
I love taking photos of the tigers and lions. They always seem to have such expression on their faces.









This was one of the two baby elephants that the zoo has. This little one was just full of himself that day. Running, bucking like a bronco. He (or she) was fun to watch!




The polar bears are another favorite of mine. I would have loved to have gotten a photo of them swimming from the tunnel, but they don't swim too often throughout the day.

I fell in love with this little meerkat. She kept coming and posing by the glass. It made me think of Flower from Meerkat Manor and made me a little sad.