Thursday, December 11, 2008

New DAOTW Awardee

It's been awhile since I've awarded a Dumb Ass of the Week, but I heard of one last week and thought it was time to hand out another. This recipient and I actually have a long history.

When I was right out of high school, while going to college, I worked at Jamesway Department Store. I was a cashier. Dumbass, was the night Service Desk girl. She was an old lady then, with gray hair, that she dyed black and obviously went to the salon every Friday and had it washed, teased and sprayed into this high, towering bouffant. She then applied the reddest lipstick to her lips and drew in her eyebrows with a black pencil. With pale, white skin, abnormally, black hair and hooker, red lips, black, pointy eyebrows, she was even more annoying when you heard her screechy voice. Couple that with the fact that she was four foot tall and you have not only got your self a dumbass, you've got a royal pain in the ass.

One day, she wasn't able to operate her cash register and she was constantly hitting buttons and it was squealing at her. I kept advising her that all she had to do was hit the clear key and it would stop. She continued to hit buttons and the noise and squealing was deafening. I told her for the fifth time to hit the clear button and she just went off on me like a top. She was in my face, shaking her finger at me, screaming at me. I asked her three times, calmly to stop it. After she continued, I had no other choice. I slapped her across the face.

Seeing the bewilderment on her face was priceless. I shut her up. I don't think anyone on Earth had ever shit her up. All in all, her little episode got her demoted and I didn't even get written up. I soon became her sister-in-law's hero. She worked with us as well. She told me in the lunch room the next day that she had been dying to slap her for 36 years.

So, imagine my non-surprise, when I hear this week a current story about Dumbass. Someone asked her if she was going to go shopping on Black Friday, to which she replied "That's only for black people". Whaaa?? Is she out of her flipping mind??!? Now mind you, she is in her seventies now, but come on, she worked retail and yes her hair and makeup are still the same.

Makes me want to go back in time and slap her a second time. Dumbass!

1 comment:

Sophie101 said...

LMAO I can't believe you slapped her. LOL! You crack me up! And what she said about "Black Friday" Can we say "Derr?" LOL! You always make me smile Rhonda! Awww I remember Jamesway, used to go there all the time!